Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Good, The Bad and The Chemo

I don't know.  I don't know what to write about anymore.  Since our story went "viral" last week I feel a little trapped in my mind.  This blog was where I was processing.  It was already difficult knowing that people I love dearly would be reading my inner most fears, learning more bad news and having to endure my sailor-esque vocabulary but I made a conscious decision to not censor myself and Nathan supported that.  It was also the easiest way to communicate with those people what was going on without having to repeat ourselves a hundred times which in and of itself is exhausting.  But now I feel even more exposed.  Who's reading?  Do they expect something of us?  Screw it.  I can't worry about other people.  I've got bigger fish to fry. There's a lot to say about the last week and this may only be a partial recap of what's been going on.  It's 4 in the morning and I'm not sure when I'll run out of steam.

Nathan and I are deeply, deeply grateful for and in awe of the global outpouring of love, support and inspiration.  I mean literally GLOBAL.  Who could ever have seen this coming?  I guess it's happened before.  Wait, I know it has.  Sometimes people receive a lot of attention for doing nothing other than finding themselves in a seriously shitty situation.  The Chilean miners come to mind.  It's just that you never imagine it's going to be you, or rather, we never imagined it would be us.  None of it.  We never imagined one of us having cancer.  We never imagined both of us having cancer.  We never imagined both of us having cancer at the same time.  We never imagined our family and friends rallying to our side with one goal in mind, a happy ending.  We never imagined that that goal would be shared with people all over the world.  And we never imagined we would feel so blessed for all of it.   That's the thing about shitty situations.  They can give you more blessings than the burden itself.  They can teach you more than you wanted to know.  They can heal you beyond your pain.

Don't get me wrong.  If I had the choice for Nathan and I NOT to have cancer, I would take it.  In a heartbeat, I would take it for Sadie's sake, for our parents and for all those people who love us and worry about us.   We didn't choose our diagnoses,  but we do choose to be in a state of gratitude.  There is too much love and healing coming our way not to feel blessed.    

So I guess I would say that emotionally/spiritually we're in a really good place.  As for our physical states of being, we're still looking for improvement.  Warning: If you're squeamish, skip the rest of this post.  My first week after treatment was truly awful. I was puking and had diarrhea for 6 days straight.  I was afraid to be more than 2 feet from a bathroom at all times.  In between trips to the bathroom, I made sleeping an Olympic sport.  To add insult to injury, I got my period.  Yes, my period.  Even though I was two weeks late (no doubt due to a mild case of stress) and the fact that menstruation should cease during chemo, I got it 3 days after my treatment.  I blame the super moon.  I just wish I had know it was coming because I was experiencing extreme pain in my lower abdomen and lower back and the fear took over.  I cried to Nathan, "It's spreading."  That's the problem with a metastatic diagnosis, well, one of them.   Every pain I feel throws me into a panic.  I worry that the cancer is spreading further.  So in a way, I was relieved there was clear cause for the pain.

On Thursday, I was due for my 2nd chemo and I was feeling much better but my blood work showed that I was extremely potassium deficient.  It should have been a short session because I only received one of the 3 drugs they are giving me, the Abraxane, but then I had to stay for a 2 hour infusion of potassium.  The potassium definitely helped.  Since that treatment, I have only suffered from fatigue, some intermittent abdominal pain and a new normal of diarrhea but overall not too bad. 

On Friday, Nathan had his 4th chemo session.  He got the results of the EKG he had been wearing for 24 hours after his scare the week before and they looked normal.  They performed another EKG just to be sure and again it was normal.  Because he had experienced severe neuropathy from the last round, his doctor decided to reduce the amount of oxaliplatin he would receive and also give that infusion over a longer period of time.  Unfortunately, only one of those things happened.  He got the reduced amount but the infusion was still 2 hours instead of 4 hours long.  A mistake was made.  Overall, it was not a big deal but by the time he got home Friday evening the side effects had already started.  To recap, the side effects he seems to suffer from the worst are: sensitivity to cold, any cold, which includes the air, tingling in his fingers, the sensation of his tongue being swollen and burnt, pain in his salivary glands when he begins eating anything, pain in his tear ducts when crying, fatigue, abdominal pain and constipation.  It's also a pain the ass to have the take home infusion.  Yes, it's definitely a medical advance to be able to provide the take home infusion because it works better that way - something to do with the half-life of the drug - but then you have to be super careful when holding your kid or hugging people, you have to sleep on your back and you can't take a shower.  It's "convenience" seems to cause a whole lot of other inconveniences. 

It's morning now and we both got a decent night sleep though I have been up since 4 am writing this post.  I definitely need to eat some breakfast, though I'm not hungry.  It's crazy.  One side effect I forgot to mention that I am experiencing is a lack of appetite.  I'm not talking about being nauseated and, therefore, not wanting to eat.  That's a whole separate side effect.  I'm talking about a real lack of appetite.  I just don't get hungry anymore.  But don't cry for me Argentina.  Unlike Nathan, I have more than a few pounds to spare.  In fact, if nothing else, I'm hoping I'll be in great shape for a bikini this summer.  And I won't even have to figure out the new points system on Weight Watchers!

242 comments:

  1. i'm one of your new global followers. just letting you all know i'm thinking of you and praying for you lots!

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  2. Always thinking of you and your family! Praying for you a ton!
    Follower from NJ!

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  3. Your posts touch me deeply. Sharing your thoughts and feelings will help strengthen your mental health. Keep making your daughter laugh. Release those natural endorphins. God bless. Follower from MA!

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  4. All too familiar with the "I'm not hungry" rap...

    The silver lining here is that you can eat whatever the heck you want and, as you mentioned, skip any form of weight watching.

    Peanut butter and jelly shakes rule the day!

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  5. I am, also, one of your new global followers. I pray that the Lord will give your strength and peace during this time.

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  6. Elisa -
    You (and Nathan) have such an amazing attitude and know that I am here reading and on your side. Keep fighting strong!
    xoxo - Becky

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  7. with love and prayers from Australia. keep strong, and keep fighting!

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  8. I am also a new global follower. My husband went through mouth cancer, but I guess because he was trying to be strong, he never really told me what was going on with him pain wise. You've given me an insight to what my husband went through. I wish you both all of the strength to get through your treatments, it sounds like you've got an awesome support system. Not only family and friends, but the entire world. We are ALL praying for your family. And please do not feel you need to censor...just write what your heart tells you to.

    ~Linda Meers from Oreland, Pa

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  9. I have always found writing to be so cathartic because I realized that holding all that in was wearing me down.

    Yep, be your full authentic self out here, Elisa. That's all you can be and it will help others to know that it's okay to just be who you are, in good times and bad.

    I continue to send prayers and Light for the highest good to come of all this.

    Just be who you are - puking, exhausted, courageous you.

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  10. I have been following your posts ever since a friend of mine posted your story on the Bay Ridge Parent group on yahoo. My heart goes out to the both of you and your beautiful little girl. I know the Bay Ridge community is doing so much to help you both. I pray for you and your family.

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  11. Keep up your positive attitude. It can be a miracle drug. Love and prayers.

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  12. Keep strong Bond family. I am praying for you. My mother is a survivor of both Breast and Colon cancer. Today she is stronger than ever and one day soon so will the two of you. Love and a positive outlook is all you need. Take care and again my prayers are with you.
    Sheena (former TCS coworker)

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  14. Wow, thanks so much for the update! I'm sure I speak for hundreds, maybe thousands of other people who have been so worried once we heard how bad the first round of chemo was for you. I don't even know you, but I seriously pray for you and your family multiple times a day...keep fighting!!

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  15. All this sounds far too familiar - from the nasty side effects to the thought that a shitty situation can turn out to be a gift (I've got more or less the same diagnosis as Nathan, though a slightly different treatment plan). Keep writing and sharing your thoughts, and don't worry at all about what anyone thinks. My blog is keeping me sane through this journey; it's a good place to vent without the stress that can come with talking face to face. You can write about something awful, melt down while you're writing it, and get over it all in a private space and right in the moment. Yes, you're sharing all that with the world, which is a bit intimidating, but think about what you're teaching the world as you share it.

    You are both in my thoughts. Be strong and be well.

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  16. I love your honesty and sharing. You guys deserve the support. I think it demonstrates the goodness in people which we sometimes forget exists. Brooklyn follower here

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  17. I'm a new global follower although not too global just Jersey. A friend in Maryland shared your story and I can't stop following because you have an incredible attitude that makes me cheer for you guys to get better so you can keep sharing yourself with the world. Don't worry about what you say. We are all here because you drew us in and we want nothing but for the two of you to fight and win. It is your story to tell and that is what matters-not what readers think of how you tell it.
    Another in your corner,

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  18. I knew Elisa casually from Vanderbilt. I was two years older and tried desperately to recruit to her Chi Omega. Your entire family is in my prayers, and as a mother, I pray hardest for your beautiful daughter and that she has a bright future with her parents there to cheer her on. Thank you for sharing your journey with us all, and please know that I have asked so many others to please pray for your family. Warmly, Alison Roberts Cooper

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  19. I'm a new follower, from Portugal. I wish that both of you heal and be healthy again to follow Sadie's growth. God bless you, I'll keep my thoughts on you.

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  20. I'm also one of your new followers. I thought it would be better to introduce myself than just lurk out here in the blogosphere. I can't imagine this is how you ever wanted to meet new people but I've been part of the blogging world for years and met some of the most supportive and encouraging people I have ever know that way. I guess more than anything I wanted to let you know that someone else out here is following and praying for all that you're going through.

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  21. Reading this brought back a flood of memories for me from my own illness. For the potassium I used to eat a lot of Yoplait Whips (when I could keep them down) and apparently tea has potassium too. I had an easier time keeping down liquids so my mom would make me yogurt and fruit shakes (not fresh fruit obviously but the frozen fruit that comes in a big bag at Costco) and put some protein powder in them. Or she'd make chocolate shakes with Boost and protein powder. Anyway, I'm sure you've gotten ton of advice and don't need to hear about most of it. But if you find yourself at 4 a.m. not able to sleep, I kept a blog when I was sick too http://survivingeveryday.blogspot.com/ if you feel like reading it; good luck and I'll be following your site!

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  22. I know we're not next door (though close), but can take care of Sadie if you ever need. Just file that info away…you never know, it may come in handy. ox

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  23. The world is on your side. All of you. Being who you are, makes you special. Thank you for sharing your story. Don't ever stop being who you are no matter what. Praying for you every day!

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  24. Just to thank you for being an inspiration...

    "That's the thing about shitty situations. They can give you more blessings than the burden itself. They can teach you more than you wanted to know. They can heal you beyond your pain."
    So true... Happened to me also...How many nights I spent awake wondering whether I could make it through...AI did ad still do,
    Hugs and kisses from far, far away!

    M., Zagreb, Croatia

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  25. Thank you for sharing your story! Prayers are with you and your family!!

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  26. I'm one of your global followers as well... Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and praying for you all! I am a Radiation Therapist..I want you to know if you have any questions or need anything please dont hesitate to ask!

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  27. A friend of mine and myself are Parsons alumni, just so you know there are a whole bunches of us pulling for your family and praying from every corner of the globe.

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  28. Dear Elisa, my name is Kyle Yancy and I too, am a cancer patient (Stage 4 Colon Cancer.) If you would like to consider a natural approach to fighting cancer, please call Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez out of New York City. I've been with him since August 2008 and have had great success. His number is 212 213 3337 and his website is www.dr-gonzalez.com. My family and I are praying for you and your family and hope that you and your husband live long, long, looooong lives. Take care, and GOD bless!

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  29. Sending big prayers out to y'all from Dallas! I found your blog through another last week. You are an excellent writer and I agree that you shouldn't censor yourself. This is your place to write, vent, whatever. I'm glad y'all feel some level of comfort from all of the people praying for your sweet family!

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  30. Hello Elisa and Nathan,
    I have been reading your blog over the past weekend. Keep writing...just as you are...just say it how it is. Besides it being a great outlet for you to express how you feel, you are doing alot to help others who may be going through what you are. Maybe it will help others, who feel the same pain you feel with cancer, or with a loved one with cancer. All the emotions, all the fears, all the milestones you pass with each treatment. You're helpling yourself to get through this, by sharing your life with all of us, and helping others to better understand how emotional it is to deal with such a monumental illness. Always keep the faith, that with every day, it brings you closer to being well again. Thank you for sharing such a personal journey, with so many people.
    Diana

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  31. Hi. I am one of your new Global Followers and I just want to say we are praying for you and Nathan and Sadie. I just cant imagine what you are going through but I pray to God to give you strength. I dont expect anything from you... Just take care of your beautiful little girl and God Bless You All.

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  32. I, too, am a new follower. I found your blog through the story on Parenting.com. I just wanted you to know that we are praying for your whole family. God Bless.

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  33. You curse all you want. Seriously. Don't you dare worry about censoring yourself. I was made aware of your blog this weekend and am amazed at your strength. No one could ever imagine themselves in this situation, and no one would ever judge you for handling it in any way that helps you to cope. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I'm wishing for a happy ending with all that I have. Hang in there and vent away as needed.

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  34. I pray for you, your husband and your family every day. God is good and I pray that you both get well. My brother went through Chemo many years ago and I know how how hard it is. It's good to share what you are feeling.Stay strong and pray for a brighter day.

    Your Global Follower - Josephine

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  35. Hi Elisa,
    I just read your post. You truly cease to amaze me! You write beautifully and tell it 'like it is'. There's something about putting pen to paper, or in this case fingers to keyboard, that makes it easier. Communication is so important especially during hard times.
    I think of you and Nathan every day and wish I could do something for both of you even though I'm so far away. I pray that you and Nathan will put this nightmare behind you very, very soon.

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  36. Praying Sun Stand Still Prayers for your family, write for you, not for us.

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  37. Hello Nathan and Elisa,
    You have no idea who I am but know that I have been praying for you and your darling girl since reading about your situation on Fox.com.

    Couple of things: coconut water is SUPER high in potassium. Not to be confused with coconut milk. It is very refreshing and easy to hold down. Most chain supermarkets carrying it now.

    For Nathan, my neighbor had the same diagnosis as you a handful of years ago. At the time her children were 2 & 8. After treatment, she has been cancer free for almost 5 years and doing extremely well.

    Elisa, thank you for sharing your thoughts and struggles on the blog. In addition to giving us more points to pray for you on and your family, I am sure it provides you great venue to vent.

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  38. Hi Elisa, Another global follower here who doesn't know you but has had a hard time not thinking of you and your family since I read about you last week in the UK papers. I also have an 18 month old which I am sure is why your story has affected me so much. As new parents, our deepest darkest fear is that we may not be around to protect and care for our little ones. I am heartbroken for you that you must face that fear now. I wish there was something more that we could do for you and your family than send you strength through the blogosphere and a small donation to your care fund. We will continue to hold you in our prayers. You have a real gift with your writing, please continue to share it with the world when you feel up to it. All the best.

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  39. Hi Elisa,

    Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, Nate and family - Griffin too..

    Hugs,

    Dawn Prentiss

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  40. Holding you all in the light. You are already a survivor in my mind. Keep on fighting. Don't even look at percentages-you both are in the winning one.

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  41. Hi Elisa,

    just another of your global followers here! Just wanted to say Keep Smiling! And the new points system is well hard on Weight watchers! I've put on half a stone! Although to be fair I've stopped counting red wine....
    Thinking of you all and wishing you the best

    Sarah from the UK x

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  42. Following from Nashville, TN...currently reading your blog from my desk at work. I'm cheering for all of Team Bond, keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep writing, keep venting. No need to worry about the vulgarity. As my step-dad once said "they're simply letters that make up words that make up sentences." Sending peace and love.

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  43. Elisa, Nathan & Sadie,

    My thoughts and prayers are with your wonderful family as you go through this truly "shitty" situation. I love your attitude and outlook on life. Please do not worry what people think about your writing. You write as if no one is reading, because to be entirely honest and forthcoming with what is happening will help the rest of us who have never been through something like this. You are helping to bring awareness to things that some people believe can never happen to young people. It does unfortunately! Cancer Sucks!! I will continue to pray and look forward to reading more through your families journey. Thank you for sharing your story, you guys have no idea how much you are helping us, the readers. I wish there was something that I could do to help. I will be walking in the "Relay for Life" this summer and will definitely be representing you and Nathan as well as my friends and family. Stay Strong and never lose hope that you will get better!

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  44. Im a Marine wife, having seen my husband go off to war more then a handful of times, and again here shortly. It is easy for me to get on a pity pot at times and then I come across your story and it reminds me of the battles being fought in all the homes across the world. The battle with Cancer, and you have been given a terrible hand. The thought of both of you getting cancer at the same time well quite frankly it pisses me off, as I am sure that feeling is multiplied million fold for you. I have a good feeling about the two of you and I am going to keep sending it your way. Thanks for sharing your story.

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  45. As I have posted before, I too was diagnosed with breast cancer. The treatments were horrible, but like I have said sooo many times, if they weren't horrible the results might have been different for me. I had eight treatments total..one every 14 days... The first 4 being the worse... A horrible nauseating feeling (would never really throw up... but would often think I would feel better if I did) for 11 straight days after each treatment I would have this awful feeling, which left only 2 days of feeling OK before my next treatment. The last 4 treatments weren't nearly as bad... I had a itching sensation, especially when I would be under the covers at night. We tried soaking my hands and feet in ice while I was having the treatment (they said this would help with the itching)...it helped some, but again it was much more tolerable then the first 4 treatments. It is very rough having to go through these treatments... But Stay Positive and Stay Strong and God will help with the rest. May God Bless You Elisa and You Nathan. You are in Everyones Thoughts and Prayers. Love to your Family!! Mary Beth

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  46. Hi Bond family, I'm a new follower from Perth, Australia and have just started following your story. I am keeping the family in my prayers. Love to the family and keep up the good work on the blog!~Stef

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  47. Just another follower from the Midwest. You and your family remain in my thoughts. I will continue to follow your story as you and your husband get healthier every day.
    Heather - Wisconsin

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  48. Hi,
    read about you on Parenting.com and wanted to come over and say that we'll be praying for you. Even if that's not your thing, it can only help, right?
    And as a new follower, let me say that I don't expect anything of your site and am WoWed you can keep up with one. Just wanted to put a soul to a story and a face to a fight!

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  49. you rule, elisa. sending love.

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  50. Nobody has any expectations, and if they do, screw em. Except that we want you to fight, fight, fight and heal! I feel honored that you're willing to share this journey with everyone and hope blessings are in abundance throughout the process.

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  51. Hello, I'm a follower from South Shore area, MA, and a friend of a friend of a friend (how i heard about your plight). i think of you both often, and your little girl. thanks for sharing your story. you are both wonderful writers.

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  52. I´m another global follower, 33 year old mother of three from Iceland and your story touched me like no other before. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  53. Try not to feel exposed in your postings...your family of support, love and encouragement has just grown, that's all. :o)You are an amazingly strong and beautiful family! Please know that you, Sadie, Nathan and Grffin have the support, prayers and multitudes of good thoughts of those around you and from those of us, not so near.

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  54. Praying God's name will be glorified through this trial in your life. Christ is The Healer of all things. I pray you are seeking His face during these difficult days. Nothing is too big for Him. (Jeremiah 33:6 NKJV) 'Behold, I will bring it health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.

    God Bless

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  55. I think you should post what you are feeling and don't worry about what others think. It is great therapy to blog. You're going through something unimaginable so no one has the right to judge! Thinking of you and your family. I definitely know how it feels to hold on to the one good thing that can come from tragedy-you learn a lot about life and what matters. Thinking of you and your family often. Take care.

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  56. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. I'm sending lots of prayers and good juju your family's way from Nashville.

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  57. Take care. Don't worry about everyone else. Know that you are thought of daily and you are an inspiration to many. Keep on trucking.

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  58. Bond family, my family and I are following from Italy (we're stationed here) and I just wanted to send you our love and prayers. No one who posts is going to say anything else then love and kind words :). You two are truly warriors and I'm praying for you and Sadie. Blessings.

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  59. Thanks for the post. I think of you often and wondering how things are going. It must be amazingly hard to process everything and then even begin to consider all of us strangers who would like an update and a peak into your days. I really appreciate your snippets.

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  60. I am a new follower too. I read about you guys on the Huffington. Your story struck me - you and Nathan are the same age as my husband and I. You are an inspiration to be able to write this out so honestly.
    I follow a blog about a girl who goes to Dr. Gonzalez. He is amazing. I see someone above suggested him and he is close to you.
    You will be in our thoughts everyday.
    Stay strong.

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  61. We don't expect anything from you except be yourself and write if it helps. Our prayers are with you.

    Teresa Shaw, Charleston SC

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  62. Praying for you and your family. I pray that you feel God's support in this difficult time.

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  63. Elisa and Nathan

    Thank you! I was having a bit of a pity party for myself until I ran into the link on parenting.com. My husband is having treatment for Myeloma. I just wanted to share a potential help for the neuropathy Nathan gets from the chemo. Neuropathy is a common side effect of the chemo they use for Myeloma. We recently heard that drinking tonic water gives people some really good relief. Might be worth a try.

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  64. I am also one of your new Global followers.
    Just want to let you know that here in Holland (where I am from) there is a light burning for the both of you.
    And that I'm sending lots of positive energy across the ocean.

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  65. Your story breaks my heart. My prayers are with you as you battle this monster together. Your newest follower from California.

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  66. We don't know each other but I have been thinking of you and your family every day since I first read about your story. Sending prayers and positive energy from Colorado.

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  67. Please don't ever sensor this blog!!!! I saw your story on foxnews.com you have been in my thoughts and prayers since. Thank you for sharing your story. I will be praying for you. Prayer can move mountains. Trust me I have witnessed the power of it many times

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  68. I agree you shouldn't censor yourself when writing. This is your blog to vent and if that offends anyone, well then screw them. I'm glad you didn't get a little "stage shy" with your blog because I really enjoy reading what Elisa and Nathan truly feel, and that's the reason why you have so many followers. We're not here to pity you. We're here to learn from you and support you. Sending my love from the very local neighborhood of bensonhurst....Justina Emer

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  69. Elisa, your blog is great, i did something similar and in the end it was very therapeutic for me. As for the lack of appetite, I lived on bland whole made chicken soup. If you want it I would be glad to send it to you. just email me at aimee.elsner@gmail.com. My littlest was also 17 months at the time and it was them that got me through it. Use her power of love it WILL get you through.
    Peace and love,
    Aimee

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  70. You and Nate are an inspiration. And I thank Nate for always being an amazing friend to my brother Alex. You are going to beat this. Try to eat something to keep your strength. Dave and I are praying for you. And I love reading your blogs. Bec, Dave, and Max

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  71. A recent 40-something breast cancer survivor in Omaha chiming in to say "this sucks!" I will be going to make a donation after this post....it sounds as if there are many people pulling for you. (1) Power Ports rock! (2) gawd, I don't miss the diarrhea--they all talk about constipation, like that even happened (3) Whoever is making food for you: Rebecca Katz has two great cookbooks for cancer patients. I know there's not much appetite right now, but if either of you has any loss of taste, the recipes have layers of flavor that you can(well, I could). Told my dad that was the biggest compliment I could give him about his cooking during chemo--I could taste it. You need food to keep up your energy, so cooking folks, get those cookbooks!
    (4) I'm not going to call either of you an inspiration. I told people I was going to defriend them on Facebook if they used the "i" word; drove me freakin' crazy! What exactly is a person battling cancer an inspiration for?! I know you're just trying to get through this, get healthy, take care of you adorable girl. I'm not much in to prayer, but I will be putting some positive thoughts out for you both.

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  72. I'm following your story from NC and praying for you each and every day.

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  73. Medicinal Marijuana will open up your appetite & help coping with the pain. Perhaps it could be a cure as well. College students are following your story from Miami, FL. We send you our love, hope & blessings.

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  74. I am a new follower and you are in my prayers.

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  75. I know you are probablly getting a gazillion bits of advice and whatnot. I wanted to let you know of a doctor, not too far from you, in PA that specializes in holistic cancer treatment. In 12 years his office has never lost anyone to cancer. He actually cured himself using herbal methods in conjunction with chemo. He is very knowledgeable. His name is Dr. Cantor 610-933-1688. Good luck to you and your beautiful family.

    :)Lisa

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  76. Hey from Oregon. Please keep writing with raw honesty. Life can be found in suffering. You are accidentally helping others. Much love to your family.

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  77. Screw anyone that can't deal with a little cursing or honesty. Be yourself. Let it hang out. Love and healing to you all.

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  78. Yep, another new follower...just from upstate. Your faith and hope and strength through all of this adversity is a beautiful, amazing thing. Sending tons of positive thoughts and prayers to you and your wonderful family. Keep fighting the good fight.

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  79. Fuckin A sister- and that is a capital A,you rock so hard the planet is shaking. And yeah- don't you ever post on this blog b/c you feel like you need to be taking care of us. Sure we're your loyal devoted followers and fans, but we'll manage just fine. . Started reading this book Sick Girl- I think the authors last name is Silverstein. It might be a good read for you right now- you know, in all your spare time when you're not blogging or puking. Thinking amazingly positive thoughts of you in bikini. In all seriousness, Lovin you and yours so very much!! xxoo ms reed

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  80. I read about your family on the Stir/Cafe Mom blog. It immediately hit home. My husband and I have one child, a daughter who is only a few weeks younger than Sadie. While reading your blog, I have burst into tears twice. My heart aches for your family. It's hard for me to comprehend that this is happening to you. I can't help but think, what if this happened to us? When something is too overwhelming for me to think about, I give it to God. I hand it to him to deal with because I can't. I pray that God continues to handle the things that you can't. I pray that he brings your family relief and healing. I pray that your family has a long, healthy life ahead.

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  81. Elisa, You are one strong, super talented lady. I love your posts; I despise your current situation! I wish you and Nate all the positive energy I can direct your way. Yes the whole world is pulling for the two of you big time. Love to the three of you. Joanne, Corona, CA

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  82. I found your story on The Stir and I am so glad I did. You and your husband are beyond motivational and your blog has touched me deeply. Your daughter is lucky to have such strong parents and is beyond adorable :)
    Love to you all from Alaska,
    Emily

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  83. You have my support and my prayers. I wish I had words that would prove adequate, but there is nothing I can say other than I'm here in the sidelines, cheering you on. My heart is with you.

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  84. Spiritually and emotionally healed...you're more than half way there...the body will follow suit! Keep writing...we're all reading...inspired by your courage...and we're all praying. Soon, you guys will be well enough to come to San Diego for a visit...I want Sadie to meet my grandson Henry...Love to your Mom and Dad. Honestly, you are all on my mind every single day. Xoxo Rose Ann S.

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  85. My heart goes out to your and your family. The courage you have is something AMAZING!

    Follower from Wyoming!

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  86. Global follower in Australia here.

    I love your writing and really hope you manage to keep it up. The viral thing will die out, but some of us do care and we are sending prayers and good vibes your way every day.

    You guys are obviously fantastic people and the world needs more of them not less. I admire your strength and willingness to share what you are going through.

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  87. From Portugal, wish you the best. be strong.

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  88. Mim in New Zealand...prayers and strength to you both Elisa and Nathan...keep writing...your words are needed and appreciated...glad the second round of chemo didn't knock you around as badly Elisa...

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  89. Saying lots of prayers for you and your family. Love reading your blog and I will continue to check on you. We are from Alaska but stationed in Germany, have family and friends from both places praying for you.

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  90. I just discovered your blog recently and IT touched my heart deeply. I hope you and Nathan get well soon and that all the prayers and the love you have around you may always be present. Keep writing and sharing your feelings, I will continue praying for you here in Portugal and sending all my love.

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  91. For your blog, I learned through the media, specifically online newspapers my name is Jasmine and I live in a country called Serbia on the European continent, I hereby I would like to support you and to tell you that you will be in my prayers daily for you and your child ... God is great and will be good to you I hope for the best possible for all three big hug and greetings from Jasmine

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  92. sending lots and lots of love your way.

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  93. Amazing, the way you cope with that awful disease. To be hit with such a verdict and write in such literary stile about the effect on a young family; inspiring for everyone where ever on this planet. We had American friends who lived thorugh te same. They spent a week at our home, we visited Amsterdam and other great places. We don't know you personally, but hey; you're welcome to stay in our home in The Netherlands.
    Michael

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  94. lots of love and prayers from our enitre family. our daughter is a freshman at vanderbilt so we feel connected to you in many ways. love and strength to you, nathan and sadie.

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  95. My family lives in Bay Ridge. I just found your blog. You are in our prayers, may God give you strength for today!

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  96. Nathan and Elisa, my boyfriend and I live and work as paramedics in Westchester County...not too far away :) I have to let you know that reading your blog has renewed my faith in people. I feel terrible that such a seemingly amazing couple, with such a beautiful little girl have to go through such a horrendous, unfair process. I say that you have renewed my faith in people because, as a paramedic and having been in EMS for 13 years, I can't tell you how refreshing it is to hear that you aren't taking these diagnoses lying down. Just from reading your blog, I know that you and Nathan, and beautiful little Sadie will have your happily ever after. Keep your chins up and we are spreading the word of your story throughout the EMS, Fire, and Police communities up here in Westchester. You will all be in our prayers and we would love to send you something if you wouldn't mind aharing your address, my email is daisy82504@aol.com. Also, if there is anything at all we can do, please don't hesitate to ask, I know that we don't know you, but we are paramedics, it's in our nature to at least offer, and we know a lot of people that would be willing to do anything as well. I will continue to follow and root for you guys to beat this. XOXOXO from Westchester

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  97. Hi Elisa and Nathan - your attitude and strength together are amazing. I went to Vanderbilt and have been passed your sites by your wonderfully supportive friends. I will keep you all in my thoughts.
    Erin Casey Bailey

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  98. I am also one of your newest global followers from Los Angeles. My heart goes out to you and your husband. My heart aches for you little girl. I know how cruel, unfair and malicious cancer can be. There are no words. But there are also no options. My mom passed away 8 months ago after battling cancer for 13 years. When she was first diagnosed, it was a small lump in her breast, then 8 months later it had spread to her bones and spine. They told her she had 8 months to a year left. My young mother (43 yrs then) laughed at the oncologists face and told him to go to hell. He wasn't GOD and he couldn't put an expiration date of her like that. She proved him and all the other doctors WRONG and lived another 13 years WITH cancer and still did everything she wanted to. She lived life to the fullest with stage 4 cancer. Don't let anyone discourage you, ever. You and your husband WILL fight this. Thank goodness for Herceptin. It bought my mom 13 more years! When all the other chemos would fail, Herceptin never failed. I am sure Herceptin will work its magic for you, too! As one oncology nurse told my mom, "Yes, cancer sucks.. horribly. BUT, giving up is not an option. You will treat this like a chronic illness (like DIabetes or asthma) and you will live a good life in the meantime".
    During the time my mom was sick, I found great comfort emailing back and forth with an INCREDIBLE oncology nurse at John Hopkins. Her name is Lillie Shockney and she has her own blog and a forum where you can ask questions and she respondes to you. Many, many times she was able to calm our fears or answer questions before my mom could speak with her oncologist. This link will tell you more -
    http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/avon_foundation_breast_center/team_approach/our_team/leadership/lillie_shockney.html

    This other link will take you straight to her question and answer forum -
    http://www.hopkinsbreastcenter.org/services/ask_expert/

    * you and your entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers, continually. I don't know you or Nathan but I feel like I "do". There is a very horrible club you become a member of when you or your very close loved one deals with cancer.
    Big, big hugs to you.. I wish there was something I could do to take it all away for you both.
    Hugs, Nicole. Los Angeles, CA

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  99. I am a Global follower from Texas You're story really touched me as we just found out my Father-in-law has stage 4 cancer so we too have many concerns. Wishing you the best and praying for a miracle.

    -Scott

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  100. I check everyday for updates from you. I am just so sorry for what you are going through. Stay strong. I am praying for you and your family.

    Following in Santa Barbara, CA

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  101. Sending positive thoughts from Switzerland. I will be following your blog and rooting for you. Especially if there is swearing. ;)

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  102. Thanks for posting an update. Since I read your story, I have been checking to see how you all are doing. Everyone is rallying for you and behind you with many prayers, love and positive thinking. Sending love from San Diego!

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  103. Dear Elisa!

    I posted yesterday, at least I think it was yesterday, for Nathan's post too, and I wanted to post for yours and say how much I am enjoying your writing. I had posted that I was laughing really hard, and when I went back and read that later, I wanted to clarify... It was at the part where you were saying you are the mom and you do the poopy diapers. Something about that hit home for me, because that is me too, and I can just imagine hearing a doctor say that about sweet Nathan, and I just loved the process of the thoughts through your head. Of course, there have been many things that move me to tears, just as so many here -- but I think its the laughter you have to hold on to, let the tears wash away.

    It's very uplifting to see your grit and the love that you and Nathan have for each other and your baby; and also to read all these wonderful messages that people are leaving you with the tips and the references and the positive vibes. Its amazing that all these people around the world can converge right here, for YOU!

    As horrible as it is, I just keep thinking this is maybe the greatest love story that I have ever read.

    Even though you feel a little naked after the "viral" -- I hope you will keep writing for yourself. The rest of us will be out here still sending all the postive thoughts and prayers that we can.

    Tonia (Little Rock, AR)

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  104. The good will here is amazing. If people posting here could fix this for you both, its clear that we would do anything. Please don despair and don't let the blues win. Just fight, fight, fight! and try to laugh more and even cry if you have to but let it out! God bless you a million times!

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  105. Dear Elisa:

    You don't know me - as you don't know most of the folks on here who have left meaningful comments. I did hike through your area back in 2004 while hiking the Appalachian Trail. (I am an above-the-knee amputee, so folks sometimes remember hearing about me on the news.)

    What I want to tell you is this: Please do not feel as though you have to assume some kind of "superhuman persona" due to the fact that your story went global. Hang on tight to the things that are close to you, develop a duck's back when hurtful comments are thrown your way (and they will come), and learn the southern term "bless your heart" for the outright stupid people who obviously are speaking from their hind ends.

    There are folk out here, such as myself and my large family, who do genuinely and very sincerely care about what you and your husband are going through right now. Nobody among us will pretend to know or predict the outcome of all of this - but know that you're not going through this alone - that there are true, genuine people who CARE.

    I know that you wouldn't have chosen this route if given the chance, but regardless, it's been thrust upon you. Don't feel as though you have to hide your true feelings so as to spare "sensitive readers" who would become offended by your colorful choice of words. Everything about you makes you the person that you are - the person that your friends and family know you as, so don't change that for ANYONE.

    As for us, we will pray for you, simply because we do believe in the power of prayer. And, I hope that at the other side of all of this mess, you'll emerge a much stronger person as a result of your experiences. You can become better or bitter - and I sense that you're the type who'll become better.

    -Scotty Rogers, aka "One Leg Wonder"

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  106. Dear Elisa,

    Your first comments about feeling somewhat ambivalent and exposed are so understandabale!The outpouring of love, support and interest has definitely a life and momentum of its own! I can easily understand that aspect of how you feel and how, ironically, coping with a sort of "celebrity" effect could feel stressful. Your post is beautiful and your attitude and honesty a profound life lesson for your supporters. To hell with worrying about "performing" for your ever-growing legions of supporters! True love, which is what this experience is suddenly bringing you mountains of, transcends the boundaries we usually assume separate us from others. And all who love you, friends and friends-you've never-met, don't expect to be updated or entertained by you in any way. Write as little or as much as you want from your heart, for yourself, as usual. Get it all out. If you needed to shout, "Leave me alone for a week, people!" You know what, I bet most of us would, without judgment or diminishing support for you. My friends and family are writing and donating and I'm keeping up efforts for you guys!Rest, heal, put yourselves first and keep on keeping it real. Much love from Liz in Princeton, New Jersey :o)

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  107. I forgot to add something that might make you smile: if you've ever seen Monty Python's:"The Life of Brian", there's a scene where Brian- thinking he has finally eluded the masses of people who think he's the messiah because they found his sandal-wakes up with his lover on a quiet morning and walks over to the shuttered window naked. When he opens the shutters to have a private stretch and take in the morning sun, he finds a HUGE throng of people standing in the square below. They chant simultaneously, "Hail, oh Messiah, Long Live the King!". Well if you know it, I bet you're laughing by now. Maybe the newfound attention feels similar for you! If not, rent it and watch it one day when you're resting :o)
    Liz in Princeton

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  108. Hey there from NJ!

    I hope you have time to read this. Elisa, you are a young survivor. Much of what you've possibly been told about chemo effects is derived from women significantly closer to menopause and older. I was already over 40 when I did chemo for the beast (ie breast ca) and NEVER stopped menstruating until the day before my ovaries were removed (ironic, huh. Sort of a last hurrah that I felt was totally unneccessary!) Some periods were late, but that was it. Granted, they would have stopped eventually from the chemo if I had not had that done, but it can take months for that to occur. I am not some super woman. This is exceedingly common, just like it is exceedingly common to be told your periods will just stop during chemo. Yeah, they will... eventually... and possibly just temporarily.

    hugs to you all

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  109. Lindsay B told me of your story, and I can't begin to express what it did to me. We're all sending as much love, healing, and warm thoughts your way as possible.

    Hugs and good thoughts
    Brandi

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  110. Just wanted to stop by and let you and Nathan know that you are close in my thoughts and prayers. It's my way of joining with you on this fight. GOD BLESS!

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  111. If it makes you feel any better to know something about a reader, I'm Hollie and I live in Seattle with my husband and family. I began reading this after seeing the article linked to from a friend's Facebook post. I'm here because I'm just incredibly touched at the struggle you and Nathan are facing, and I've watched my own loved ones deal with cancer.

    I believe in some way that by reading this and keeping up with your blog and thinking good thoughts and praying for you both, maybe I can add to this big collective of positive energy aimed at the both of you and Sadie, and that maybe in some small way this can help you. When we finally get moved into our new house and have some spare cash, I plan on donating to your fund, too.

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  112. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I am a 31 year old mother of 4. I just can't imagine this, my heart literally hurts for you when reading your story. I can't imagine the fear, confusion, anger and even courage that your situation brings out in you. What you are doing, sharing your story with the world, even though unintentional, is amazing. My family prays for you and your family.....one of the best unintended consequences of your story going viral is that there are so many people praying for you and your family, no prayer falls on deaf ears, God hears everyone and you have an entire world of people praying for you. I thank you so much for sharing in this dificult time. What a story to look back on though and share with your daughter many years from now.
    God Bless you , give you strength, peace and love.
    Following from Prescott, AZ.

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  113. We've never met, but I too am so touched by your story. Just went through a year that started with being diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant...a lot in between - and now I'm holding a beautiful, healthy baby boy and am celebrating my first clear MRI. :) I am proof that prayer works..... and I'll join all the others in praying for you and your family. Hoping you can find both strength and peace during this insanely difficult time.

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  114. You don't know me and I don't know you except what you write in your blog. But, I will tell you that I will keep you all in my prayers DAILY praying that you will have the strength, the fight, the will, the peace, the hope, and above all else no fear because this too can be changed!
    <3
    Love and prayers,
    Barbara P.

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  115. Dear Elisa,
    It´s so wonderful to "hear" your voice again. I can see that as I told you when I saw you, wherever you go or whatever you do you will find good people around you to help you and support you. I am happy to read that you are feeling less side effects and your desire to share your feelings in your blog means you have a bit more energy. As I told you, you are both in my prayers and I send you a big hug from all of us. Be strong!!! (do eat please..!) kisses. Palmira

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  116. Hello Nathan & Elisa
    Your story has made it's way over to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan (Canada). My boyfriend and I as well as our families are thinking and praying for you. My dad beat it and I have faith that you both will too! You have a beautiful daughter and we hope you both feel better. You are in our thoughts and prayers everyday and we will check back again soon. Keep your heads up :)
    Love, Hilary Keller & Jeff Brooks

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  117. Elisa and Nathan,

    I also discovered your blog through parenting.com and am blown away with how you seem to be bearing up in this situation. I echo those who say don't censor yourself. Cuss all you want, because cancer is evil and you've been dealt a shitty hand right now. As a mother of a two-year-old, I am praying for both of you and your beautiful daughter. Take care of yourselves and let people be there for you and Sadie.

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  118. Thinking about you guys as I read your heartbreaking story. I understand the ambivalence of the 'celebrity' thing, too. My husband died in a plane crash when I was pregnant. It was all over the news in our town, and everyone's eyes were on the 'poor pregnant widow'. I hated the attention and the pity, but I was also humbled by the outpouring of support (in thoughts, prayers, actions, and financially) My story helped other young widows reach out... your story is allowing a whole bunch of total strangers to pull for you, but it may also be helping fellow cancer sufferers out there. All my positive energy is going to you, Nathan, and Sadie. Cancer can just suck it.

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  119. Dear Elisa and Nathan
    I came across your story in the UK Mail newspaper, and am deeply moved by your plight. Hope today has been a good day. Sending healing thoughts and vibes across the pond.

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  120. Dear Elisa and Nathan,

    I am also deeply moved by your story. I am praying fervently for you. I kept going back and forth whether or not I should share a book with you that has some fascinating information for cancer patients, regardless of diagnosis or stage. Offers some real hope and can give some empowerment. It is still tugging at me to share, so I will.

    http://www.amazon.com/COMPLETE-CANCER-CLEANSE-Program-Detoxify/dp/0785262954

    It is a fascinating read about our bodies and how we can become warriors against this terrible monster of Cancer.

    I have three young children, and my heart is aching for all of you.

    I am praying for you all and lifting you in light.

    Sincerely,
    mm

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  121. Sending you my prayers that you remain full of hope and encouragement, love and light.....I hope that the prayers made on your behalf, by those who are righteous, bring healing to your bodies.

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  122. Yet another new global follower (I'm in San Diego). We don't want or expect anything from you...we are joining your army of strength as the 2 of you fight this battle. Don't censor your thoughts, don't try to entertain, just be you. Most of us will never have the opportunity to meet you or shake your hands, but we are all stand, side by side, holding your beautiful young family up in prayer. Nothing else is expected. THank you for sharing your journey with a bunch of strangers.

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  123. Omaha, Nebraska represented here. Don't censor, and don't think about how people will take what you say or worry about what they think of you. No one who is following your story is following it because they have any expectations of who you SHOULD be. They want to know you for who you ARE. We are all here to support you from near and far. The power of love and prayer is an immeasurable thing. You are loved!

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  124. Hehe, that is one way for you to think of your decreased appetite--bring on the bikini!

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  125. Hi. I'm a 49 year-old mom from Washington. 12 years ago, I was diagnosed with stage IIIC ovarian cancer "the silent killer". My little girl was 3 years-old. First of all, I am deeply sorry that you and your family are experiencing such a horrendous blow. I too had the carboplatin/taxol combo treatment. The greatest challenge was the trauma of being a mom and having to consider at way too early of an age the possibility of leaving this little girl alone. There was not much of a formal support system available for me as I was relatively young and not sure how to even articulate this subject at the time. In hindsight, I wish that I had immediately been plugged into a formal mental-health support system. There are superb providers out there that can help you all hang onto your sanity during this challenging time. During my treatment I worked hard to hang onto the notion that one day I would still be here for my daughter. I think that it is a reasonable and realistic hope to survive and I am a living example of this possibility. It is a hard road, no doubt about it, and I wish you the very best as you journey your way through. Hang onto hope. The possibility of growing old together with your daughter is there.

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  126. Hi! I'm Ana, I'm from Portugal and I have a 4 year old little girl. I read about you and your family today on a portuguese magazine.
    Has I read your story I fought hard to hold back the tears, but it was impossible to do so. I'm so sorry that you have to go through such an awful thing. Cancer is a cruel, cruel disease...
    I'm praying that you will make it. I'm praying that you'll both be there for your baby and watch her grow.
    Love, hugs and positive thoughts going your way!
    Ana

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  127. I'm deeply moved by your story. Sending Prayers from MA.

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  128. Keep fighting, Nathan and Elisa for your wonderful daughter and all your family. I am sending you the most warmth, love and good wishes that I can, from 'across the pond', here in Preston in Lancashire, NW England, UK. Your story has reached the UK - can't quite remember where I read about your blog but it was somewhere like a news site or networking site. I really wish you all the very best and pray for both of you to have a full recovery. You should get a world map and post the location of every commenter. Seeing your story spread further and hence your invisible network of support, might be really uplifting? Best to you all x x x x

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  129. My sister sent me the link to your blog. She lives in Brooklyn and I in Arizona. I have been following ever since. My husband and I also both had cancer although not at the same time, rather he right after me. I had Breast Cancer, he had Lymphoma. Notice I said "HAD". Although we were both stage 1 and now "cured", our doctors always talked about having a positive attitude. Your attitude is amazing. The mind is a powerful thing. Keep positive, follow doctor's orders, and never give up! Know that everyone who reads this is praying for you both....and your precious daughter.

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  130. I'm also one of your new global followers, from Colorado. I read about your story in the newspaper here and was, as a mom of three boys, deeply moved by your story.

    I'm including you and your family in my prayers every day.

    I think one of the previous posters said it best "Hang on to hope."

    Namaste,
    Aly

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  131. Another new global follower (New Zealand). I hope you can continue writing whatever you need to write.

    I'm keeping your family in my thoughts.

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  132. keeping both of you in my thoughts! Miracles do happen! My nephew had stage 4 Ewing Sarcoma! They have him less than 5% chance of survival past 2 years... He has been cancer free 4 years now.

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  133. Dear Elisa and Nathan,
    I came across your life story in a newspaper in my country (Portugal). As I have family history of breast cancer (and other types of cancer...) it touched my heart and soul...

    You don't have to think about what the readers, like me, are expecting you to say or do... well, I just expect something... that you really are in shape for summer and perhaps even get to Portugal, to the beaches in Algarve and enjoy our hospitality :))

    That would mean great news!!Hope that you can make it every year! One day at a time. That's how my grandmother did, and still does :) she's been !here for more than fifteen years to tell and retell her story, even when the doctors had given the worst scenario!

    I'm keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers! Begin your day with hope and end it with gratitude! Do that every day!

    Bless you all,
    Liliana

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  134. First of all I want to say that Sadie is very beautiful and lucky to have you both for her parents. Second I want say I’m sorry that you both have to fight cancer at the same time. I will be one of your supporters through this, even though you don’t know me. I will be praying and following your blog waiting for the good news that you both are cancer free. Thanks for sharing your story.

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  135. Good vibes being sent to you from Ireland. Thank you for telling your story, my heart breaks for you, while at the same time I admire you both for looking outside of yourselves to do this blog. Keep fighting, keep positive.
    I pray for you all every day.

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  136. Sending love, positive thoughts, and prayers for your family. Stay strong, take it a day at a time, do what makes YOU happy, and know that the whole world is rooting for you.

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  137. I heard of your story yhrough a common friend that wdng to Vandi. I admire your courage through this difficult time. May you both heal and look back at all of this as if it was a bad dream. You both and your daughter are in my thought and prayers.

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  138. As Lynne Meyer said above, yet another new global follower (I'm originally from Iowa, but go to school in Madison). I really like what Lynne said, " We don't want or expect anything from you...we are joining your army of strength as the 2 of you fight this battle". I decided to follow your blog after seeing your story on the Huffington Post. There is no need to censor yourself, as you said, you have bigger fish to fry, and there are more important things in the world than what people think of what you write on a blog. I along with thousands of over people around the world, am praying for your family. Many of my loved ones, and my friends' loved ones have been affected by cancer. Thank you for sharing your story!
    And even if we never have the chance to meet, I will be keeping your family in my thoughts!
    Best,
    Emily

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  139. Embrace the love out here. You have taught us, inspired us and given all of us hope. And now we will be there for you. There is an amazing world of people out here...those who will support you, encourage you, and help in ways that are unimaginable.

    You may not know us, but KNOW that you are loved . . .

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  140. Your family is living what my family has for years. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2006 when our son was 3. My husband who suffers from Crohn's, was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2008. My Hodgkin's is incurable and treatment focuses on life quality and cancer containment. I write www.baldiesblog.blogspot.com to share how we cope, tips to stay strong, and organize yourself. I'd love to talk to you about what we've encountered. The fear of the unknown is the worst. My email is hill.stpierre@gmail.com whenever you get time.

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  141. I saw your story this morning on the Today show. My knee jerk reaction is to feel a deep, deep sorrow for you both and Sadie. But as I listened to you talk, I realized how healthy you both are mentally and how positive you both are. And the fact that you express over and over again how grateful you are is such a powerful testimony to the wonderful people that you are. Don't under estimate the healing power of gratitude and a positive attitude. Sometimes that is the best medicine. I know you will both continue to be strong and I believe in miracles, so believe in them too, because I can visualize you and Nathan as a Middle Aged couple watching your daughter walk down the isle and I see you playing with your grandkids! I will pray for you both and will keep you both close in thought and prayer! Much Love to you both from a fellow NY'er (Who is now living in North Carolina). ~ Hugs, Debbie

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  142. Just saw your interview on The Today Show and admire your strenth and hope. Today I am celebrating my 12th anniversary of being a breast cancer survivor. During my treatment and recovery I lived by these words "In the face of uncertainty, there is nothing wrong with hope." LiveStrong Nathan and Elisa. Looking forward to your 12th "survivor" anniversary!

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  143. I flipped on the TV this morning and the first thing I saw was your story on The Today Show! I am a member of a prayer group and we are lifting you up in prayer, today and every day. We may never meet this side of Heaven, but know that we are praying for complete healing for both of you. God will use even this to glorify Him. Romans 8:28! God bless you!

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  144. My thoughts our with you I was just diaginosed with Hodgkins And am just about to start chemo and radiation and at least you made me laugh My 3 kids are scared to but at least there in there teens I'll be thinking of you both

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  145. Please, please, please consider looking into the Gerson Institute for your cancer therapy. I am in now way affiliated with them, but have studied their method quite a bit. They essentially use incredible amounts of fresh, natural, organic fruit and vegetable juices in combination with a vegetable-rich diet to help your body heal itself from cancer. I truly believe it could help you.

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  146. I saw you guys on the Today show today and your story really touched me. My dad had stage 4 colon cancer 2 years ago and it shifted to his liver last year. He used the same drugs your husband is on. My dad survived and is surviving. You guys will too. You have the same state of mind my dad had. Don't let it get to you. Life sucks sometimes but after wards you will stronger in ways that you never thought you could be. I will be praying for you guys and your recovery.

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  147. Just saw you on the Today Show and had to tell you how much I wish for the best for you. I know you can kick this cancer's butt. And I'll think of you and give extra kisses to my hubby and kids tonite. You might not have any time, but if you'd like a chuckle, check out my bff's and my blog and the latest parenting, dieting, thrifting antics we're up to.

    www.wom-mom.com

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  148. Hi Elisa and Nathan,
    I just wanted you to know that I am a stage 3 rectal cancer survivor!! I was diagnosed in May 2009, finished all my treatments, surgeries, etc. in April 2010. I have had 4 clear PET scans since that time. I just wanted to encourage you that you can beat this!! I will be praying for both of you. If you ever want to talk I am available - mlshook@mail.com
    Laura Shook
    www.laurashook.com

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  149. Elisa,
    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I watch the today show every morning, and today, I cried alot... I just found out on Sunday that my mother has lung cancer, and reading this lets me know my family isn't in the fight against cancer alone. I look forward to your future posts! You are very inspiring.
    Megan Cherepko

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  150. As many others, I saw your story on the Today Show. I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I just felt compelled to write. You have a beautiful family. The lessons you are teaching your daughter about community, grace and love will no doubt have profound impact on her life. I helped care for a friend with Lou Gehrig's disease. Besided her tremendous strength, what amazed me the most was humanity. We are bombarded with stories of people hurting, killing and cheating others. To be involved in a situation where, as you said, total strangers will step up to help; gives you a different perspective about the world. People do love. And people do care. People may not always now HOW to help, but I believe they do WANT to help. We used a Share the Care system which was a very useful tool to gather resources for their family. Anyway, I'm sure there's nothing I can say that you haven't already heard. Just know that my heart goes out to you and your family. Thank you for being courageous enough to share your story. It gives many of us hope.

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  151. New follower from MA. Your story touched me so much. I lost my Dad to Cancer and my brother just celebrated his 5 yr. anniversary Cancer free! Last night I had a dream that my Dad was still alive, then I woke up and saw your story. I made a small donation in his honor. Wish I could have sent more. Stay strong,don't worry about sensoring. If anyone gets offended(which I can't even imagine) F**K them! :) You have such a beautiful family and you still look fabulous with the short hair. I was also going to suggest coconut water, you want to get the Vita-Coco brand,it is the only one not from concentrate. Stay well. Sending you love,light and prayers.

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  152. Wow. As the mother of two young children, I am amazed by your strength and courage. I wish you and your husband and daughter many blessings. I will share your story with everyone I know. We have much to learn from you.

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  153. Keeping you in my prayers for a miracle for you both and your beautiful little girl.

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  154. I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in December and am her2+. I get my treatments every 3 weeks and will get my 5th out of 6 on 4/11. My latest scans showed the tumor was definitely shrinking in my breast and my lymph node tumor was no longer visible on the scan. The cancer has spread to my lower spine and hip, but the bones are healing after radiation and zometa. My experience is that the chemo gets easier as it goes. I ended up in the hospital after the 1st one due to dehydration and stomach pain, but each treatment has gotten easier to tolerate. I hope you have the same experience! Your family will be in my prayers and I look forward to reading stories of healing in your blog!

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  156. A new follower from NC. Praying for you and your family!
    Positive thoughts and prayer is amazing!

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  157. I am new to your story from CT. I'm at a loss for words, but your story touched me in a profound way. Wishing all the best for you and your beautiful family.

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  158. Following your journey from PA...I am a survivor still fighting and am sending ALL my positive energy and prayers your way for you all. Positive thinking and getting your thoughts and feelings out there is the best medicine life has to offer so to heck with other people and let it all hang out. Love and prayers are coming your way...

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  159. I believe in prayer, so I am sending a prayer to you.
    Lord thank you for the lives of Nathan and Elisa. Thank you for one more day of hope. Nothing is impossible to you, we pray for healing, for health, for faith, for hope , for tomorrow.We thank you for giving your life to us and for loving us unconditionally. Please Lord help nathan and Elisa go through this moment of their lives knowing that you care for them more than they can ever imagine. Give them strength beyond believe. Give them hope in you.
    Isaiah 40:31
    But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

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  160. Cancer sucks.
    Keep laser focused on what matters to you. Continue to be warriors.
    Viral smyiral...this blog is for you by you...keep it up!!!

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  161. I just saw your story and had to thank you for sharing. A good friend of mine lost her husband in December to colon/liver cancer after a 15-month battle and during his treatment, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. No one could believe that a 42 yr old and 44 yr old couple could both be diagnosed with cancer at the same time.

    Your attitudes are amazing and I wish you long life and good health. Thank you for sharing the story and I'll continue to read.

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  162. Your daughter is beautiful and so is your sweet family. You will get through this. You have a zest for life and a candid ability to tell the truth. Your story was meant to be shared....why you? I'm not sure but hang in there because you are facing this together in the most couragous way. So many people are learning to deal with this horror they call cancer and you are proving to them that it can be done with grace and zeal. Yes, you may feel shitty and you may not want to be the one to help others through their journey but for those of us who are facing the struggle, I thank you whole heartedly. You have touched more people than you will ever know. You have that keen ability to connect with your words. You will get through this together.

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  163. Each night during our evening bottle & lullaby, I now whisper a prayer for 'the mommy and daddy in NY' with my 9 month old baby girl. We'll keep up this ritual as long as it is needed.

    You inspired me to get a breast exam last week as well!

    Prayers from Seattle...

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  164. This is my first post. It's a post of hope. We also are a New York City multiple cancer family. Three years ago, within a 60 day period, three of us were diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer - my husband age 57 - Hodgkins of the bone marrow; my niece's (husband's side of family) 5 year old daughter - liver cancer which required a transplant; my husband's first cousin's 5 year old daughter - a brain tumor. Today everyone is in remission. It was a tough time but we did it. You will be in my prayers every day. I am going to go donate now. Hang in there.

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  165. Hi there. I'm one of the folks who found you after things went "viral." I sincerely hope that you choose to keep on writing without censoring your thoughts. Going back and reading your entry when you first got the news about the extent of your cancer was amazing to me, not just because of your wonderful writing style, but the way that you so clearly expressed the thoughts of anyone faced with such terrifying news. It's important for you to get your true thoughts out (forget anyone else's reaction--if they don't like it, they can stop reading), and it's a great window for those of us with friends and family members facing similar situations. Keep up the great work here, and keep up the good fight!

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  166. You all are in my thoughts and prayers for a complete and total healing!

    Kathy in West Texas

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  167. I'll keep this short and sweet as I'm sure you are extremely overwhelmed. So cool when so many people care and reach out - but it is overwhelming too I'm sure. I'm Dina, and I am in the same boat you are - same age range as I was 39 in 2009 when I was diagnosed, 10 months after having my 2nd little girl. When they did the routine PET they too found it had already spread to my bones and liver. Want to be a face of hope for you - and let you know I am just a call or email away if you ever need to talk to someone who is literally right where you are. While there are many people w/ BC there are few (at least as far as I've found) who are in our specific predicament. Find myself jealous of all the other BC patients - how f(*cked up is that, right? In any case, I'll just share this - statistics aren't about people - they are about buttloads of data - so you can't apply a statistic to a person - it logically just doesn't make sense. I found comfort in that statement. Praying for you - and contact me if you wish, anytime. www.dinasboobblog.blogspot.com - Dina Kay Mountcastle

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  168. I recently came across this little saying. It was attributed to Dr. Suess:

    Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

    Keep loving each other and every day will be worthwhile.

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  169. I have been reading this blog for a few weeks now - I can't remember how I got pointed in this direction but I know it was because you all could use some prayers.

    When I saw you guys on The Today Show this morning I yelled for my husband. I kept telling him about your story and asking him to pray as well. I wanted him to see who we have been praying for!

    Keep strong. Feel the power of everyone's prayers. And know that we are all rooting for you both!

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  170. I don't know if you will read my comment, but both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer within days of each other too. They are in their late 60s. it's been a 7mo. journey for all of us. Both of them are Ok now. My dad is still not cancer free but his tumor has shrunk quite a bit and will have surgery within the next 2 weeks to remove what's left. My mother had breast cancer, but she's free now. You all are in my prayers starting today. I don't believe in coincidences, I believe a higher power drove me here so I can add you all to my prayers. I admire your strength and hope to keep going.

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  171. Saw you guys on the today show this morning. Your story has really had me an emotional wreck today. I can't stop thinking about your story and your family. I know I don't even know you guys, but my heart truly goes out to you and your family. I will pray for healing for both of you. Stay strong and positive! Have faith that God will take care of you and Nathan!

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  172. Please read "A Race for Life" by Ruth Heidrich and "The China Study" by T. Colin Campbell. These books may save your lives. Best of luck to you and your family.

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  173. I literally just wanted to say everything that the previous poster said...
    1)Saw you guys on the today show this morning. 2)Your story has really had me an emotional wreck today. I must REITERATE here...an EMOTIONAL wreck. How do the moons align so unfairly to burden your young family with this disease?!
    3)I can't stop thinking about your story and your family. I know I don't even know you guys, but my heart truly goes out to you and your family. I have watched your TODAY show video four more times and read your entire blog.
    4) I will pray for healing for both of you. Stay strong and positive! Have faith that God will take care of you and Nathan! and your little girl.
    I wish that I knew your personally so I could physically help in some way; but I don't :( so for today I will donate, I will pray and I will wish that you dance together at your daughters wedding and hold your grandchildren. You put life into perspective for me today. I am a better Mom, at least for today, my three little guys are my world and your daughter is yours...you will survive for her.
    Whether or not you set out to be...you have become...a true inspiration.

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  174. I saw you and your husband on the Today show. I'll be here in Oklahoma following your blog and sending positive, optimistic thoughts to your family.

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  175. I'm also a new follower, just now saw you on the Today show via msnbc.com I will be sending positive vibes your way from Oregon. And don't worry about censoring yourself. Seriously, if someone has an issue with it they don't have to read it. You have the right to speak candidly and openly and be yourself.

    Much love.

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  176. Thank you for sharing your story... <3

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  177. Another new reader who is sending so much love and so many good thoughts of strength and healing to you both.

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  178. I'm just dropping in from beautiful Vancouver Island, in British Columbia, Canada to say God bless you both... and Sadie, too! Sending you all of the strength, healing (and humor) you will need to get better!! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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  179. You are so brilliantly written. I don't even know what to say, like so many others. But chalk it up to another stranger blog follower thinking of you & your beautiful family and sending a prayer out for you and Nathan and Sadie... Thanks for being bold and blunt and inspiring.

    We'll be thinking of (praying for) you over here in Utah.

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  180. Thank you for sharing your family and your story,I will pray for you all and no that you inspire others to count their Blessings.Your strength is truly remarkable and admired!God Bless you!!

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  181. I'm a new reader. So far have just read this post but will be looking back at your story.

    I'm sorry that you and your husband are experiencing such hell on earth. I was diagnosed with lymphoma 4 years ago. After chemo and radiation I was put into remission. I hope that will last. Cancer truly is hell.

    About the periods...mine stopped after my second cycle of chemo. I was supposed to go into menopause, but actually didn't. Well not at first. A few months after chemo it came back regularly for a while. For the past year it's been mostly missing. The menopause is catching up to me. Just wanted to let you know that it may stop for you soon. One less thing to cause pain.

    Again I'm sorry. Much love to you and your husband, and family.

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  182. Sending prayers of hope from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. I've recently finished a stage II breast cancer nightmare ... though it seems we're never really "finished". I find your family's situation hard to swallow to say the least and my heart aches for you and what you're having to go through.

    I hope you find blogging as cathartic as I have and know that you're helping people with your story.

    Stay strong and F*CK YOU CANCER!

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  183. I am a new follower. An acquaintance who is a friend of yours posted your blog and a link to your story on a mommies' website we participate on. I am a Brooklyn girl, born and raised, and I want to tell you both to fight with all the Brooklyn you've got! I am thinking of you both and I hope you don't mind my following your blog to keep an eye on you. But if you do, that is fine and I can stop. I just wanted to say you're not alone and the support is real. Cancer sucks. Royally.

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  184. Hi,

    I saw you this morning on the Today Show. You and Nathan are the definition of grace. I am thinking about you.

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  185. Elisa: I find your story more than inspirational. It is eerily familiar. On February 14th I too have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I am in earlier stages than you. As I am already a cancer survivor from having Hodgkins disease 30 years ago (in college) many treatment options have been taken off the table. Anyway, I two am a mom,a my twins are 11. My husband, children, friends and acquaintances have been amazing throughout this whole process. It is awe inspiring to me to see people come together to help. I often am amazed that so many would help me! Often people tell me how "my outlook and attitude" are inspriatnal to them, and I am puzzled by that...because my strength and perseverance comes from the help and kindness I am receiving. I heard your story today, and I want you to know that I hope only good things for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that one day, we can all Sit around and talk about how we survived this time, and ended up Better not bitter because of the love and support from all around us.

    Sending you the warmest wishes, and prayers that your cocktails/protocols are not awfully draining during your off weeks. And that these treatments result in only the most positive results....

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  186. Dear Elisa and Nathan, I hope you read this. My husband and I were diagnosed six weeks apart this time last year. I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer, and he with stage 4 esophogeal cancer. I was 39, he was 45, we have two young children who were 4 and 7 at the time. I was in disbelief when a friend sent me your link. I have also blogged our journey and I can send you the link if you would like it.

    I don't even really know what to say, and of all people you think I would. What you said on the Today show is exactly how we felt, you appreciated the NOW. I wrote an article for the Globe and Mail (kind of like our NY Times) about just that. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/facts-and-arguments/my-husband-and-i-were-both-battling-cancer/article1744200/

    Please contact me if you would like. I am thinking about you.
    Kelly Rowcliffe
    kelly.rowcliffe@rogers.com

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  187. Elisa and Nathan
    I want to say thank you for sharing your family with so many strangers. I know all too well what cancer can do to a family. Let me just tell you that you will both beat this disgusting disease!! You will look back at this time in your life as a roadblock and nothing more. I live on Long Island, not too far from you. I have shared your story with my friends and we are all praying for you!! Please fight the fight. You will win the battle.
    Hugs
    Haley Albertario

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  188. I read about you on a news, and it shocked me, seeing two young people with a little beautiful daughter in that situation. One of my parents is ill with a really strong parkinson agravated with psp, and hes only 63 (he was diagnosed at 50). And the worst of all is that he is a really lovable person, we all love him, he is a very good man and was really good to others in the past. So, the point is, whenever the shitty situation comes, youll see who are the real friends and who are the good people. And it may surprise you to find really good people where youll never tought you were going to find them. I dont know you, but i really hope all this get better or at least controllable.
    Cecilia

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  189. Bond family, you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. Cancer sucks big time, and I hate the way it keeps showing up, again, and again and wreaking havoc.
    I was diagnosed with BC a year ago, and have some understanding of what you're going through. I too felt overwhelmed and uplifted by the outpouring of love and support from family, friends and strangers. I believe it will get you through this. It did me.
    About food and chemo: we made an interesting observation, my kids and I. We noticed that the foods I could tolerate were the same foods I could eat during pregancy (which was 24 hour morning sickness horrific!) They especially liked that the suggestion of DQ banana split blizzards, which worked during pregnancy, worked during chemo. Other foods I could tolerate were rice pudding, hamburger helper (but not since then, no no no)salt and vinegar chips and bottled water. My cousin suggested egg salad sandwiches and chocolate milk, something I had never eaten while pregnant, and I admit to having a few over the course of treatment.
    Another poster mentioned cook books and I used a couple written specifically for cancer patients. Great recipes written for the multitude of symptoms and side effects these treatments bring.
    Love and prayers from PA.

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  190. I am attaching a website that lists a bunch of healing scriptures http://www.cnm-vra.com/healing/. Please keep these scriptures in your heart. DO NOT believe for one second that you both cannot be healed. Only God knows why things happen. My mind has no comprehension of why this has happened to your beautiful family, but I truly believe that God can and will turn this around for your good. I do not know you but I hope and pray that you can feel my love across the miles. I will be praying daily for your good health (emotionally & physically), for peace in the midst of the storm, for funds to see you through this, for peace of mind for your family, for rest for your bodies, for more good days than bad, and finally for your story to be a story of triumph. I am speaking by faith that one day I will be reading your book and watching your story in a Lifetime movie that at the end will say that Elisa and Nathan have been in remission for over 20 years & will show pictures of you dancing at your daughter's wedding. May God bless and keep you both. Lots of love and many many blessings from Maryland.

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  191. Elisa, I saw you on the Today Show this morning, and I have to admit that I was truly inspired by your story. I can't even begin to express how much I am in awe of your (you and your husband's) attitudes and outlook on life. You both are an example to people everywhere on how to live life to the fullest. I live in California and I am one of your new followers. I don't know what I could possibly do to help, but please, if there is anything that I can do to help out/assist your family, PLEASE do not hesitate to ask on this blog. Even though I don't know you, cancer has touched my life personally, and I would love to do anything I can to help out. Hearing your story, seeing all the support and outpouring of love your family has received (thus far), reaffirms for me the goodness of people. :) Thank YOU for that.

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  192. I am a follower of Hillary's blog (baldie's blog), and I just want to wish you and your family all the best.
    Beat it....both of you!! Win!
    Stay strong, and all the best.

    Tom

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  193. I wish you and your family the best!! I recently lost my Dad to cancer and it has been so difficult and I hope your family does not have to go through that. Stay healthy and take care of each other!!

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  194. I was taking a sick day watching NBC today on my couch, not expecting to see anything too meaningful, and then there you were. I have my own set of troubles and tend to feel very angry and ask 'why me' a lot. Something you and your husband said reminded me to live my life today, stop wasting it by asking 'why'. It's not an easy thing to do, but listening to your story has inspired me, and reminded me that it's ok to hope, in fact it's imperative. You seem so graceful, but in your moments of darkness, remember, there are prayers and thoughts for you, all the way from australia x

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  195. Ps...I have just read some of your blog, and you are absolutely hilarious. What a fabulous, honest writer you are. Perhaps cancer is just a bridge to a career as a writer? It's the long way around I'll admit.....

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  196. Hi- I'm also one of your global followers (Israel) and I'm praying for both of you. Do you have hebrew names? what are your mothers names to include you in our community's prayers?
    You never know what will help, right? When our baby almost needed a kidney transplant, we had people praying for us and it just gave us so much strength to know people were thinking about us, wishing us well. I wish you a "refuah shleima u'meheira" (full recovery, fast- in Hebrew)! Praying for you,
    Avital (and family)

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  197. I saw this blog about a week ago and was surprised that there was no comments.

    Today there are almost 200!

    My thoughts are with you!

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  198. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! xo

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