Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Side Effects Slide On In

Yes, I've been feeling pretty good expect those first couple days before I got the meds figured out.  Many of you even commented on FB today that I looked fine yesterday when I met with my friend Amy after my last whole brain radiation treatment.  I did.  I was tired, but come on, tired is totally acceptable.

So why look so "good." First rule of having cancer, I try not to look like I have cancer.  There is nothing worse than facing myself in the mirror in the morning, hair all patchy, dark circles under my eyes, no eyebrows...you get the idea.  I might as well say, "Good morning, Elisa.  Remember last night, when you finally went to bed after Klonopin and guided mediation to counter act the steroids?  Yeah, well, HA on you, girl!  You still got it kid. You STILL have cancer.

Today, the EXACT day after my last treatment, I woke up, coughed and then ran to the bathroom to vomit.  Really?  The doctors did warn me of all the short term side effects of radiation which usually set on worse after the treatment because of its cumulative effect, one of which is nausea and vomiting, but just this once I thought I might get lucky.  Just once?  The meds seemed to be working.  Yes, I was jittery but the Klonopin helped to counter that out and I like to nap.  Oh, but, no.  They've been toying with me.  Lurking beneath the surface, waiting to pounce.  I actually believed this might be the one time I would be spared the "usual"side effects.  Yet at the appointed hour, as if a rooster were in on the plan, it emerged at day break.

There was one saving grace.  Sadie had spent the night at my mom's last night. She was Sadie's plus one for the school trip to the zoo today.  I crawled back into bed and Nathan made me a bagel to tamp down the nausea.  So much for my raw food diet today, but this was not the morning to chop kale.

I know this isn't one of my best and brightest posts but I am trying not to put pressure on myself to always be "me" whatever that means.  Today I am just a tired, quiet, mama who needed a lot of rest.

FYI- Upcoming Timeline:

The follow up to this whole brain radiation treatment will be in one month. They will do an MRI and I will meet with the radiation oncologist, Dr. Narayana, the same day.  I so, so love NYU and their efficiency. It really makes a difference.

Tomorrow is day one of regular chemo schedule and I will meet with my oncologist, Dr. Volm.  We will schedule my PET scan and echocardiogram (six month follow-ups) that were pushed back for the rad treatment.

Mid June: Nathan follows up with his oncologist, Dr. Weiser, on the very same day as our 7th year anniversary. How romantic is that? He'll have a follow-up colonoscopy at the end of June.

End of June: I meet with my neurologist, Dr. Vazquez, and hopefully get the all clear to drive again.  I know this sounds absurd people but really focus on this one.  The summer is upon us and I need that freedom to feel like I can enjoy it.  All my EEGs, sleep studies and ambulatory studies have shown NO SIGNS of ANY seizures so it means we finally have the right cocktail for controlling the epilepsy.

As I just said, the summer is upon us and if these two weeks of yuck stay on schedule, then I plan to resume a normal life immediately afterwards.  We have two short out of town trips planned (fingers crossed), but will mostly be staying close to home in order to maintain my chemo regimen.

I know many of you pray, meditate, send good vibes to Nathan, Sadie and me but before I sign off I ask that you add these special people my life to your thoughts as well.  My step-sister, Hayley, is going in for her one year follow-up from her breast cancer.  May all be well with her. My second cousin's mother, Florene, just found out her breast cancer has suddenly and virulently returned after two years.  Her youngest daughter is getting married in September and we all want her to be as happy and healthy for that blessed event. May she spend this summer healing and resting and getting the care she needs. Lastly, my dad, who thankfully does NOT have cancer, will be getting a knee replacement on Friday. He has had a couple of heart attacks and with any surgery there is a risk but he is determined to keep working and being active at 72 years old.  Bless his heart!  Did you get all that?  Phew!! There's a lot of praying, meditating, good vibing that needs to get done these days, people.  Hopefully this is how we heal our world, inside and out.

Peace and love, y'all.

44 comments:

  1. Loved hearing from you. Prayers again coming from Iowa. You are an inspiration to me! Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. you are in my thoughts every single day. You are an inspiration

    ReplyDelete
  3. Praying, praying for you, your family and your loved ones!!!!!


    Xxxxxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. I will continue to pray for you and Nathan as well as adding Haley and Florene. I've already been praying for my father who was diagnosed with stage 3a lung cancer almost 2 and a half years ago. He is doing well (after going through so much). Maybe I do have some pull with the 'Big Guy' upstairs after all! ;) I promise to put in a good word for all of you as well. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Continuing to hold you and your whole family in the light. Thanks for keeping us all in the loop.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sending prayers from South Carolina for you and your sweet family.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your strength amazes me. Good work mama! You'll get through this! Prayers and hugs to you and your loved ones.
    MK Grey

    ReplyDelete
  8. Elisa... sending prayers and good thoughts to you, Nathan and Sadie... and all you love and care about. Love to you from your Vanderbilt Mom reader!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Prayers and hugs for you all from Northern California.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Eliza. You can count on my prayers for you and all your loved ones. I am truly amazed at your spirit and at awe of your strenght and faith. May God continue to watch over you and Nathan and lovely Sadie. You guys are always in my prayers...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Keeping all of you lifted in prayer!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi friend you've never met. I've been following you since your fight began. As a mom of 2 special needs kids it's easy to feel sorry for myself and lose perspective. Reading your post this morning has once again brought me back to gratitude. Good vibes and prayers to you, your family and friends.
    Fight the good fight.
    Ellen

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am sending all good things to you and the entire family! Peace and love! I am rooting for you ALWAYS!
    Katie Rubin from Bay Ridge. xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sending love and prayers and good energy to you and your tribe. You are a fierce group of fighters and as I guess you realize now, you have a huge village of supporters, fans, and friends you've-never-met. I hope you, Nathan, and Sadie get the summer you're planning and only good news from here on.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Keeping you and your family in my prayers! Thank you for sharing your life with us..such an encouragement!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Always praying and thinking of you and Nathan and your sweet little Sadie.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are so amazing! Prayers for you, your family as well as your extended family! Never knew I could feel so moved by someone I've never met but you continue to have love pouring out all around you! I wish for everything good to come your way! No one deserves it more than you do!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sending lots and lots of strength and healing thoughts to your Dad and your family and of course to you and Nathan. Extra special vibes for your cousin's mom. She may have it the toughest right now, but she will get through. You both will.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sending you and your family everything I have....and believe me, honesty always trumps everything else. Lots of love being sent your way...

    ReplyDelete
  20. happy thoughts and prayers from Indiana!! have a great summer!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Elsa, I am praying that God will give you the unfailing strength you need to endure your treatments and to shield you from suffering. I am glad you have a wonderful, supportive husband and family. Love and hugs from a Breast Cancer survivor (stage III, Triple Neg),
    Suzie
    (Texas)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Elisa,

    Praying for you and your family. I'm a nine-year cancer survivor, and empathize with you all greatly.

    Bryce
    Fellow Vandy Alum ('98)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Vanessa HairstonMay 31, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    Elisa,

    Praying for you and your family. xo

    Vanessa

    ReplyDelete
  24. I pray for you and your family Elisa every night. As you say there are a lot of others out there needing it to and I will try to remember them also.

    Carol

    ReplyDelete
  25. elisa, nathan, and sadie,
    you are one amazing family. our prayers are with you each and every day.
    lots of hugs

    ReplyDelete
  26. All kinds of good vibes coming your way!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am honoured to be a follower of your blog. Everyday I hope that your family will achieve its goals.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thank you for continuing to let us share in your life and your family. I am sending healing thoughts your way from a fellow BC patient.

    Best wishes,
    Penelope

    ReplyDelete
  29. Sending prayers and good thoughts from Las Vegas...

    ReplyDelete
  30. You are such a wonderful person, thinking of everyone else while managing to deal with all you are going through. Your family is so blessed by you. Praying for you all.

    ReplyDelete
  31. As always Elisa you are my hero. You, Nathan, and Sadie are constantly on my mind. I hope that didn't sound creepy because it totally isn't meant to be like that as I'm sure you know. You both inspire me so much every day! I can't believe all the bs you go through and still come out thinking of others. You remind me so much of my mom (a very good compliment lol) because you both have the same personality through all of this nonsense they call cancer. Please keep fighting the fight! And you too Nathan! Please keep posting and keeping everyone updated! You guys are amazing and you're both ROCKSTARS! Oh and I'll be thinking of your dad, step-sister, and second cousin's mom! Hope they find the strength and courage that they'll need :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. So there I was feeling all sorry for myself since hubby is a bad drug addict and relapse and left me broke, and I can't find a job anywhere and I'm getting up there in age and who wants to hire someone over 50, right? And then I read your latest post Elisa and the world tilted and I was injected by your so cool perspective and with all the pos/tive vibing, gonna include your your peeps, plus, hoping all that horrible nausea subsides, get better and be well, peace and honor from tucson, LAG

    ReplyDelete
  33. Flooding the Heavens with prayers....we all will be blessed. Hang in there

    ReplyDelete
  34. ive been keeping track of you guys since i saw you doing your first interview on the today show. i am 34 year old mother of 4 living thru metestatic leiomyosarcoma. F**K cancer.. love the sarcasm and the humor and the brutal honesty of your posts people need to know this stuff. not only sick people but the people who dont appreciate life. thank you for sharing your life and your struggles... continue to amaze. love from montana

    ReplyDelete
  35. ♥ Continued blessings to you all including your Dad, Florene and Hayley ! ♥

    ReplyDelete
  36. Updated my prayer list as requested plus have added a few more recipients of my own too. Maybe good vibes is in the stars for us too; the transfer of venus will be complete next Tuesday. Supposedly that means less turmoil to follow. I look for hope everywhere. Believe and be well. xo

    ReplyDelete
  37. Diana DeCubellisJune 1, 2012 at 12:48 AM

    Elisa, sending caring thoughts your way, and praying for good health for you and your family. You are an amazing woman!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Elisa, I'm about to write a blog for my company in observance of Cancer Survivor Day on Sunday. I think you and Nathan should have a stomp all over cancer dance party on Sunday (even if it's metaphorically). You are two tough cookies!! Sending you love, prayers and support.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Once again you are nothing short of an amazing inspiration, sending you nothing but the best for you and your family from CA.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Sending prayers your way, Elisa. Hope your weekend is as good as possible! :)

    ReplyDelete
  41. Elise, I pray for you every day. I will add your other intentions to my prayers. God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Hello Elisa, you crazy, wonderful Amazon princess! Check out this link "http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/47663271/ns/health/#.T8uvYu0TvUQ".There is hope on the horizon! Hugs and love to you, Nathan, Sadie and all of your family.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Geez, woman! I wish there was a paying job for witty, wise and smart ass people. You crack me up and inspire me everytime you write. I think about you often and will continue to pray for complete healing. Keep fighting this girl. You have millions of people lifting you up in prayer.

    ReplyDelete