Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Who Shot JR?


Who shot J.R.?

I don't think that there has been a cliffhanger like Elisa's last blog post since Dallas was on TV. Sorry about that, but cancer really sucks as a script writing partner.
At the end of the last episode we found Elisa hinting that her prized NED status was about to be done in, and as many of you probably guessed, it was.

We jump to March 5th, to our regularly scheduled Brain MRI, where we receive news that there is a new tumor in her cerebellum. It is small and the only one present so they are not too worried. The past tutors that they zapped with the gamma knife have almost completely disappeared (they take a while to break down) so the doctors are feeling pretty good about being able to treat this one the same way with similar results. They want to wait six weeks and then do another MRI to see if more show up and to see how fast the tumors are growing. So we wait. We grapple with the fact that Elisa is no longer "cancer free", which really she never can be. The reality of this new ever-shifting planet we live on takes a while to get used to. She keeps up with her chemo while we wait, and we try not to worry about the next MRI.

Six weeks go by fast and slow. Sadie keeps us laughing and amazed most of that time. She is talking up a storm, growing like a weed (37.5 inches now), and working on her comedic timing – which is better than mine already.

We find ourselves in the doctor’s office waiting to speak to him about the results, laughing with Elisa's cousin, cracking jokes. This is how we deal with the stress, we laugh. It's the only good part about brain tumors: a lot of good material for jokes.

The results show that there are now 5 tumors. The one from the last scan has not grown much but the other four have. The doctor mentions something about the fact that a few of the new ones are on the outer layer of the brain, which is unusual. He suggests that after we zap these with the gamma knife (to be scheduled for the next week) that we have a lumbar puncture test to check for cancer cells in the spinal fluid. No big deal, no rush. If they find it they can treat it with chemo injections into the brain. Oh, that’s all. We leave and start to think about the gamma knife.

 A couple of days go by and I start to wonder about what that chemo treatment in the brain will be like for Elisa. I do a little research. You can't find treatment information without knowing what is being treated. So I had to find out what they were looking for: leptomeningeal metastases, or LM for short. LM has a lot of symptoms, most of which are the same as the side effects of chemotherapy. This causes them to go unnoticed a lot. It also meant that our neurologist didn’t realize that Elisa had several symptoms that were on LM’s list as well as the placement of the brain tumors. It is a fine line between trying to be an advocate for a patient you are in love with and being a hypochondriac and I was not sure which side I was falling on, but with our track record I decided to call Elisa’s oncologist. Long story short, all the info was put together as well as all the heads of the doctors and they decided to postpone the gamma knife treatment and do the lumbar puncture first. All this takes time to arrange, and there are approvals and blood test to be done ahead of time. It also takes about 5 days to get the results back. That is a lot of nervous, stressful waiting. So what could we do to make it worse? How about have Elisa get a small tear in her Dura during the lumbar puncture that slowly leaks her spinal fluid. This fluid is keeping the brain suspended inside the skull. When the pressure is lowered you get an excruciating headache if you are in any position other than flat on your back. Yep that would make waiting worse. For 5 days Elisa was basically stuck to the mattress. It finally closed up by itself, just in time to go in and meet with the doctors and get the results. A quick side note about the results – this test gives a false negative 55% of the time. So the news that it was negative was welcome, but we were not over joyed. We thought that we would have to do another lumbar puncture, and after what Elisa had just been though, we were less than exuberant about the idea. Lucky the doctors felt that what they didn’t see  -no cancer cells, but also no other abnormalities in the spinal fluid was good enough and they would just do an MRI of the spine and brain to make sure there were no tumors in the spine and then move on scheduling the gamma knife. So now we are up to last week. The scan was Wednesday. Thursday Elisa’s went in for her chemotherapy and we meet with the neurologist to go over the latest scans.

This is where the season would end if this were Hollywood. I wish it would have.

The spine is all clear, but there are even more brain mets. Elisa is up to twelve now and they are spread all throughout the brain. The worst of it is that several of them are the ones they had already treated with the gamma knife, now growing back. The treatment plan changes. Gamma knife isn’t the magic wand (or laser) that we thought it was. We are presented with options. Gamma knife, in two treatments because there are too many to do at one time. However they feel that this will have to keep being done and there is the possibility that because of the placement of the tumors on the outer layer, it could become LM, as that is one of the pathways to the spinal fluid. The other option is whole brain radiation. I don’t think Mike Tyson could have hit us any harder than hearing those words did. We have worried about that from the day we first found out that the cancer had spread to her brain. So why do it? It is the best chance to kill all the cancer cells in the brain in one shot, and hope that this will stop the spread of the cancer. We learn that the long-term side effects are not as bad as we had thought. Yes, in a year or so there can be cognitive function damage. Things like not remembering what you had for breakfast, or a new name or phone number, or not being able to come up with that particular word you want to use in a sentence…. wait, have I had whole brain radiation before? There are the short-term side effects of the treatment as well. Things like headaches, nausea, and fatigue. They will last the duration of the treatment plus a couple of weeks after. After a lot of discussion we feel that it is the right move to go with the whole brain radiation. On Monday Elisa had a mesh mask made of her face so they could start the treatments Tuesday. They will use this mask to keep her head in the correct position each time she goes in.
Normally it takes a week or so before the side effects start to kick in. However Elisa doesn’t do anything half way. Within a few hours of her first treatment she is has a splitting headache and is vomiting, a lot. She never vomits. Her muscles ache. It hurts to chew, she can barley keep the meds that are meant to help with these symptoms down. They take a few days to work anyway. She is miserable. I just hope this means the cancer cells are even more miserable. One day down. One day at a time. 

My apologies for the run on sentences and poor grammar, but my editor is not feeling well.

137 comments:

  1. I am a lurker but just wanted to say that I have been and will continue to pray for you both. Praying for comfort, peace and healing!

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  2. Nathan and Elisa,

    I've been reading your blog for quite some time, but this is my first comment. I am so incredibly saddened to read of these latest setbacks for Elisa. I hope that the new radiation is what it will take to kick this cancer's ass!!
    Stephanie

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  3. Ashley vuckovichMay 8, 2012 at 10:14 PM

    Oh Elisa I'm thinking about you and sending you a lot of good energy and love!! Sadie is cuter than ever- in all the pics I've seen on facebook! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo -ashley :)

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  4. Praying or the chemotoworkand never looking the faith that you and your wife willbe completely healthy one day! Hugs and love for the 3 of you...

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  5. I have been following since day one and this is my first comment as well. . . I'm saddened to hear about the setbacks but if any family can handle this the Bonds can! You have the world pulling for you Elisa. You will get through this. One day at a time.

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  6. If I could take a day for either of you I would. I would because you've been asked of so much for so long.

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  7. All our love and prayers go out to you! Stay strong!

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  8. I have been following your blog since the Today's Show. I am saddened to hear about the recent developments for Elisa. I am sending prayers and positive energy your way. I pray for healing and that the side effects of this treatment subside! Love and hugs to all three of you!

    Karen
    Kentucky

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  9. Hang in there "Team Bond", there are a lot of prayers going up for you all. Your strength is amazing and everyone is pulling for you. We love you dearly...you can beat this!

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  10. You guys are amazing. Even in the midst of horrible news and horrible treatment, you manage to find some humor in the story. I pray for you both all the time. May Elisa's treatments ease up on the pain. She is such a trooper. You both are. blessings to you both.

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  11. Thinking of you, wishing you speedy recovery, comfort and grace during this time. You guys are amazing and an inspiration. You are loved and thought of often. Fight on.

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  12. I can't imagine everything your family goes through every single day like this, you guys are incredibly strong, and it reminds me how we don't know how strong we can be until we go through something really tough. I will be praying for you guys! May God bless your beautiful family!! xoxo

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  13. Elisa - plain and simple, KICK ASS! My heart is with you and your family from the first time I heard about you, Nathan and Sadie when your family was first diagnosed yet I haven't posted yet ... stay strong ... this sucks and it's not fair but you are a strong woman - stronger than any other I have ever known - and you will stand tall.

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  14. Prayers go up... Blessings come down!!

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  15. Just sending love and strength.

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  16. if it took me holding my breath to read your blog post i simply cannot imagine what it took to go through it. i keep your family in my heart and hope that every decision is what is best for the 3 of you. much love and sending strength.

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  17. I too have been following your story and praying for your beautiful family. Thank you Nathan so much for taking the time to update us. I think about your family all the time and am so sorry to hear that Elisa has to endure even more!!!! You guys are such troopers! Sending love, light and positive vibes....from Canada!!!!
    Cathy, Toronto

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  18. I have been following your story since you started your blog last year. I am in awe of your strength. Keep it going. Don't give up. You are so lucky to have each other.

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  19. Praying for you and for your families and friends... Strength and grace and endless, endless love and hope.

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  20. God bless and all sorts of prayers-thoughts-energy-compassion going out to all of you.

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  21. Love and prayers going out to all three of you. You are amazing, inspiring and unbelievably strong. Wishing you continued strength and healing...

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  22. Sending you love and strength.

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  23. Sending good vibes to an incredible couple from me a stranger who has been thinking of you and hoping for a better day tomorrow.

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  24. Praying hard for you both. All things are possible with God. Never give in, never give up hope. We who pray for you never do. You are inspirational and much loved.

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  25. I am sending you my love and strength. Fight hard and may God bless you and your beautiful daughter.

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  26. Praying for Elisa and your family. I truly hopes she beats this horrible disease. Hugs to all of you.

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  27. I think about you all every single day, literally. I pray for healing and strength! xoxo

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  28. Praying for u guy's,u get a small break then hit hard again,but u can do this u have done it before u can do it again,Nat don't give up sweetie u both r going to pull thru.Talk to the Lord Nat he is there for ya'll and loves ya'll so so much.U don't never have to be alone in this.I don't know what u belive but i don't care cause i know God is real he has brought me thru so much please please Nat don't give up.I will not give up praying for u guy's please tell elisa that i'm praying for her and she will come thru this.I love the 3 of u and will alway's pray for u love lot's

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  29. I am inspired by your strength, perseverance, and selflessness. Each of you are in my prayers for continued strength and peace. Oh, and that the doctors will find ways to kick ass on this cancer! Hugs to each of you!

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  30. Just reading about Elisa's latest setback is gut wrenching. I cannot imagine what this is like for both of you. I'm praying for God to continue to give you both the strength to face what's ahead, and to lay a continued healing hand on both of you. I know it's so overwhelming... but remember, God will never desert you.

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  31. Sending thoughts of continued courage and strength to you and Elisa.

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  32. I know it must be truly bizarre to have strangers reading about your truly personal struggles, but please know that we are all pulling for you. You and Elisa are truly an inspiration. As much as it sucks royally to be going through all of this crap, just remember that there are countless people out there who have you in our thoughts and prayers. Keep your chin up and keep fighting - we are with you every step of the way.

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  33. Words can't describe how I felt reading this, but Elisa you are a FIGHTER!!!! Praying for you, Nathan and Sadie always, keep up the faith and stay TOUGH!!!! XXXOOO Susan

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  34. This is just awful and gut-wrenching to read. I'm another complete stranger who is SO TOTALLY PULLING for both of you guys. My thoughts and love are with Elisa, you & Sadie. Hoping against hope that she pulls through this and that the first side-effects are the only ones. Don't stop fighting. We're here by your side.

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  35. oh, f&%$!!! i just feel beyond pissed. does fighting mad support count? my husband and i both have cancer at the same time, too, but nathan, we would give you and elisa years of our lives if we could. our new one word mantra is "believe", so instead of punching something, we're going to be BELIEVING that all will be well for you, elisa and sadie. much love and powerful vibes for healing to each of you. karen sutherland

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  36. Ditto to all the above comments....much love and healing prayers and energy sent to you both. I will stop whining about things and honor you both by getting my shit together ! :o) Fondly, Lori

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  37. Fuck, I thought bad news traveled fast and having not heard from you for so long I thought everything was improving. So sorry to hear this latest shift but I am continuing to hold you all in the light and hope the full brain radiation is the answer and at least slows down or stops the growth of new tumors.

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  38. Praying for you. Thinking of you. Believing in You. Please know you are all being thought of and prayed for every day so much love for all of you.

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  39. I am so so so so so so so so sad and so sorry and I love you more than ANYthing my sweet Elisa. Nathan, thinking of you like crazy and sending a zillion hugs your way....my heart is breaking. Love you all so very much - Lauren

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  40. So sorry to hear this news. Praying for healing & strength.

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  41. Oh I am so sorry to hear this sad and devestating news about Elisa. How disappointing and scarry for you both. I will keep the three of you in my prayers and I truly hope and pray a conplete healing for you both. I send you all loads of hugs and kisses. Know you are all loved even by us strangers! God bless you three today, tomorrow, always!

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  42. you are an amazing family. I will continue to pray for you.

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  43. Your strength, courage, and honesty are incredible. I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. Sending all good, healing wishes to you from San Francisco. We are all pulling for you!

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  44. I cannot imagine the strength both you & Elisa have to make it through something of this magnitude, I am sorry tough horizons are on their way but I will keep you & her in my prayers & thankful for your little girl making the harder times easier to bear. God Bless you & know you are such an inspiration to us all.

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  45. the agony! nothing could be more ruthlessly unfair. sweet elisa, no one could kick this horrible beast's ass harder than you. it has no fucking idea what it's in for. i wish i could help hold your paw while you puke, and try to crack a joke or two while you march through the pain. keep marching, brave soldier. we love you so much and believe in you and your fighting spirit more than anything in the world. missing you so much and sending all our love. xoxo imogen (and C and cats)

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  46. Although this is my first time posting, I have been watching and hoping along with your family, Elisa. Vandy friends keep me updated as they all care for you so much. Just wanted to let you know that my daughters (3) and I pray for your family with every evening prayer. Please remain hopeful. God bless you.
    Love,
    Michelle Sebastian

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  47. praying for you all... my mom is going through chemo and radiation & when she gets to feeling horrible I feel the same way about it -- that the cancer must be feeling just as bad, hopefully worse. You two are an inspiration. Love and prayers to you.

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  48. Don't know you, but you're in my thoughts. You're an amazing family.

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  49. As Lyric said, hang in there. Keep fighting. You have no other choice. Keep moving forward. Keep pushing. We're all here to support you and are sending you waves and waves of positive healing energy and love. You can do this Elisa.

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  50. Sending love and prayers to You, Elisa, and your entire family. I've been a silent follower since the Today show and am constantly awed by your continued strength and perseverance in the toughest of times. I also live in NYC so if you/your family need anything, I would be more than happy to help any way that I can. Stay Strong!

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  51. Sending prayers for inner-peace your way, Bond Family.

    FUCK YOU, CANCER!

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  52. Thoughts and lots of them. Love too.
    xxx

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  53. I think somebody needs to design a Team Bond t-shirt that says "Fuck You Cancer". I know I'd wear it.

    I am so sorry for Elisa's set back. But, given the amazing strength you both have, I believe that's all it is....a set back.

    Much love and many prayers and positive thoughts being sent to the Bond family.

    KF

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  54. I have been following you both from day one and my heart just broke for Elisa. Hearing this setback made me cry. She has such a fight in her though as no one else I have ever seen and with the grace of God, he will bring her through this round as he has done so often before. My continual prayers flow for her and for you too, Nathan and your beautiful baby girl. Please continue to keep up posted. God Bless you all. Chrisie

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  55. Thank you for posting an update. I think of you both and your family often. I'm praying for strength and perseverance, and sending positive thoughts for you all.

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  56. I just want to tell you that you both are amazing. I am a cancer survivor and have also watch people very close to me fight intense battle's. Just keep loving, laughing and hugging. The roller-coaster is so hard, but your love will keep you strong. All my prayers and hopes will be sent your way.

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  57. Thinking and praying for all of you!

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  58. Add me to the list of people sending you and your family good wishes and hope.

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  59. Vanessa HairstonMay 9, 2012 at 12:05 PM

    Prayers for you and your family! I am thinking about you and sending you love, peace and light!

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  60. Unbearable ups and downs. Wish there was something to do to take the physical and emotional pain away. Thoughts and prayers to all of you.

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  61. My heart just aches for your family. I wish you both and nobody else had to go through this nightmare. I think of you both and Sadie all the time and check in often. I keep you in my nightly prayers.
    Lots of love being sent from Minnesota
    Love,
    The White Family

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  62. Sending hope, strength and prayers from our home to yours. May G-d watch over you all.

    Randi
    Dobbs Ferry, NY

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  63. http://www.oncolyticsbiotech.com/clinical-trials

    I don't know if they are working on anything that could help but just to make sure there is no stone left unturned I'm sending you this link. My thoughts are with you all at this time.

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  64. Noooooo! I too was hoping no news was good news. This is agonizingly unfair. I've been following your family's blog since the nightmare began last year, and you've never been far from my thoughts. Your humor, honesty, and dignity despite the shitty hands you've both been dealt are inspiring and admirable. Keep up the good fight!! I'll continue to send positive thoughts and prayers to you always.

    Much love,
    Heather
    Salt Lake City, UT

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  65. You are both always in my thoughts and sending healing energy your way.

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  66. We are praying for you guys and hoping that Elisa gets the healing that we have all prayed and hoped for.
    Colorado

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  67. I don't even know what to say........ except that we are all heartbroken to hear this latest development and continue to keep you all in our thoughts and prayers.

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  68. Peace and love to you all. Times a million.

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  69. Nathan, how is your health doing?

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  70. I'm so, so sorry to hear all this. My sympathies to Elisa on the headache; I had one of those last year after the removal of my epidural post-LAR surgery, and it was hell. And now, this news - unfair doesn't really begin to cover it.

    I understand that there's nothing to do but forge ahead. You are both in my thoughts. Nathan, I think you and I were in treatment for rectal cancer at the same time, and I hope that you've made it through and are feeling OK now (as much as that's possible after the year you've had).

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  71. Prayers for Elisa and your family. Stay strong -- don't lose the faith.

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  72. I know this sounds redundant but my thoughts and prayers are with you all. I hate this fu%#^&(ing disease with a passion. Stay strong. Sue

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  73. Prayers coming from Hartford, Ct.

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  74. I'll be praying for your family.

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  75. Sending positive energy, thoughts and prayers to your entire family. Through all your struggles you both have served as inspiration for more people than you could ever know. Your story is not over, not even close. Yours is a story of great love, sickness, struggle, family, friends, and in the end great triumph over evil. Cancer is evil and you both WILL beat it. Much love to all three of you, Nathan, Elisa and Sadie.

    Tiffany (Ruiz) Amacher
    Centreville, VA

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  76. I'm so so sorry. There are no words. My mother also had LM. I will be praying for you all nonstop. I am so sorry. I am in tears. This is beyond unfair. Tremendous amount of healing vibes and prayers coming your way.
    Nicole, Los Angeles.

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  77. Damn. Damn Damn Damn Damn DAMN! This is hard to read. I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is to endure. I continue to send wishes for healing and mercy to your family.

    Heather in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada

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  78. I am praying for the family... who is Griffin? I missed that! I will pray for all. Disease is devastating but if there is life... there is always hope. I have been following this couple since Mar 28, 2011 . I have seen it in my own family numerous times. Blessings to all. Some good You Tube to watch... Jacob Schemmell - life can be tough for so many of us. His kind thoughts were so helpful during really really tough times. Even tho he is YOUNG... college student... he had a powerful message. Here is the link of Jacob being interviewed after helping so many who were so at the end of their rope... not able to take another step in life: http://youtu.be/Scykx-M3PR0
    Here is the original video that gave so many people hope... http://youtu.be/0dgadTcVu60 Ben Breedlove from Austin Tx followed suit after Jacob did. Both are amazing. We often wonder why such a sweet family to have such tough situations. But think of how Job suffered. We need to thank God for ALL that is given to us... good and bad. We are better able to help others when we suffer or our friends suffer. So hard to go thru but it helps us face our troubles when they happen... thinking of this sweet family and how they are going thru such tough tough times.

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  79. ps: I am wearing my ELE shirt Jacob talks about. Let's pray that God's will be revealed to us and that we know HE has the power to answer our prayers about this lovely lovely family. I think of this family often. We know not why this happens. Tomorrow I am buying the Bonded Forever charm to help out. Is a non-profit 5013c able to be set up? My company helps those type of organizations. Let me know. Karen RS

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  80. We love you all and always pray for you all

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  81. Love and Good Wishes from India!

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  82. Elisa, Nathan, and Sadie: You know how our family feels about you all. Your suffering is palpable, and goes way beyond what any of us should have to endure. Know that you are always in our hearts. The Pass Family

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  83. Since seeing you on the today show over a year ago, i have followed your story. Reading about this latest setbacks was so difficult! I am so very sorry everything you are going through. Your family is never far from my mind and always in my prayers. ~Amy from OH

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  84. I have been following your blog for the past year and am so sorry about the setback that Elisa has experienced. You, Elisa and Sadie are in my prayer daily. I really admire your courage in sharing your struggle with all of us. I pray for healing for you and Elisa....

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  85. Thank you for posting an update. I think of you both and your family often. I have been following since day one and this is my first comment as well. Hearing this setback made me cry and my heart break for Elisa. Thinking of you with love and prayers and wishing you continued strength and healing. You are amazing, inspiring and unbelievably strong.

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  87. It brings me tears from reading your message. I am deeply sorry and I understand and share every tiny bit of your pain and sufferings. My dearest and beloved brother suffered a similar situation. He had an aggressive form of leukemia and metastasized to the brain. He had gone through whole brain radiation, lumber puncture, chemo...all sorts of possible treatments. I could not put in words how much pain in my heart to see and to go through all these with him. Stay strong and stay hopeful. I will pray for your family.

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  88. Annette W - Houston, TXMay 10, 2012 at 1:35 PM

    I am so very sorry you all have been through so unbelievably much. You are such an amazing family and I have thought of you and prayed for you often after seeing you on the Today Show last year. Continued prayers...

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  89. I'm thinking of you two and sending well wishes. Know that you are loved. ox

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  90. No great words of wisdom here, just know that you are in a strangers thoughts and prayers in Connecticut.

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  91. sending all my strength and prayers for elissa and family for your neighbor in bay ridge brooklyn. hang in there!!!

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  92. I am so sorry that this road is filled with ruts and bumps for you. I am sending up prayers for Elissa and for your wonderful, inspirational family.

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  93. Keeping your family in our prayers! Sending you hugs <3

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  94. As an oncology nurse for many years....all your words are resonate to me what many of patients have endured....Hope they have given her some steriods to decrease the swelling during radiation thus decreasing some of her side effects...Stay strong and never give up!!!!Love to you during this difficult time.....

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  95. Prayers of love, laughter and grace. Keep fighting! This terrible, wretched disease can never truly defeat you. Enjoy your family and may all decisions you have to make from this point forward be ones that fill your heart with peace.

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  96. Lots of love, hugs and prayers from Portugal, you are in my thoughts***

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  97. I can't imagine what you are both going through, but I know that tons of people are praying for you, including many you have never met. God bless you and I will continue to pray down here in Georgia.

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  98. Prayers to your family from a stranger in Texas.

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  99. Prayers and good thoughts from a grandmother in Chicago.

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  100. Thinking of you and your family, from a friend in Amman, Jordan.

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  101. Sooo much love and support coming your way from our Orange County NY family to yours. We've been "with" you since the world first heard your story and we'll stay with you as long as you want us.
    -Sara M

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  102. Lots of love from a lurker mommy. Cancer is total shit! I'm pulling for you guys!

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  103. I have been reading your blog for over a year now. I wish you even more strength and am hoping for recovery for both of you. You are such great role models for little Sadie. I am so happy the three of you have each other.
    Sending you much support from Germany - thank you for sharing and showing people the reality of cancer. - Nicole

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  104. God bless you both. It just seems as though you can't catch a break. I'm sorry for that. Enjoy your beautiful girl as much as you can...

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  105. This is sent with much love and prayers for healing. And to Sadie, a special prayer for her days have got to be difficult, too.

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  106. Thank you for the thoughtful update during such a tumultuous (there isn't really a word that communicates this level of insanity adequately, is there?) time for your family. Your family is amazing and I love the way you take care of one another. This latest series of events? I think Elisa said it best with her favorite "Fuck, fuck this fucking bullshit!" Best wishes and may all the cursing in the world heal her and shove out the evil C. Stay strong as you always are. Rooting for Team Bond!
    Kristy in Brooklyn

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  107. Thinking of you and your family. You guys are fighters. You are strong, amazing and have the love of one another and your family. Remember that in the toughest times. You have more love than most people will ever have. Take pride in that and take it one day at a time.

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  108. Prayers are being said for your entire family.

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  109. Nathan, Thanks so much for the update. Having to live through everything again by putting it into words has to be very difficult for you. My heart aches for all of you with this latest setback, butI can feel the love between you and Elisa. Keep the faith even though the days seem dark. Love and prayers are being sent to all of you.

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  110. This just sucks. There really is no other way to put it. This disease can be relentless. You have to be just as relentless in your pursuit of finding some good to focus on each and every day of your prvecious lives together.I wish I could say something that would REALLY fix any small part of this impossible situation. Know that if love and prayers could bring about a miracle, Elisa is first in line.

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  111. Stumbled upon your blog and story the same week my 37 year old brother was diagnosed with cancer. As difficult as this time is for us, I can't imagine what you have been through and I admire your strength. Thank you for sharing your journey.

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  112. I pray for you.

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  113. Thinking of you and praying for you every single day. Sending love and positive energy your way from Chicago!!

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  114. Thank you for the update. I continue to pray for strength and healing for you and Elisa. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  115. I pray for you and your family and hope that the love and well wishes around the world give you strength and healing.

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  116. I can imagine how hard this is for you. Remember you have many people praying for you and sending you their love. You have been so strong throughout this last year, you can do this also. I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you weather this current storm.

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  117. A prayer everyday, lot of positive vibrations, healing and hugs for all of you. One day at a time and you will get through this.

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  118. Thinking of you both today. Hoping Elisa is having a good day.

    Patty in Texas

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  119. You both are the epitome of true, honest strength. I hope I nor anyone I know has to go through what you've both been through in barely a year. No fluffy words or sentiments- I think you're both beyond that. But do know that many, many people think and pray for you often and anxiously await the day you post that this crappy cancer is totally gone. Sending hugs and strength from Delaware-
    Wendy

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  120. always thinking of your family. praying and sending positive vibes your way.

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  121. Elisa, You are a warrior! Kick the shit out of that cancer baby! Don't give up. Nathan does a great narrative, but you, your choice of words and intense honesty re. your feelings is unsurpassed. Beat the beast both of you! Love to Sadie. Joanne ~ socal

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  122. Your lucidity and sense of humor is remarkable. I'm impressed and inspired, and wishing you all the best moving forward.

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  123. I am so sorry. I hope and pray that there will be some better days ahead for all of you, especially Elisa. I hope and pray that the treatment will somehow keep this awful cancer under control, so that Elisa can live. Not just stay alive, but truly LIVE. Walk barefoot through the grass, free of pain, holding her daughter's and husband's hands with the warmth of the summer sun on her face. Enjoy the sunset from a porch swing. Eat a beautiful meal with family and friends. Basically, do all the things that those of us who aren't currently going through what you are take for granted every day. Your story is reminder to all of us to keep our priorities straight. To love like there is no tomorrow. To quit being concerned with all the ridiculous shit that society tells us we should care about. To pray like crazy that scientists will find a way to prevent cancer, or at least find treatments that aren't so horribly hard on those who have it. Your suffering is completely heartbreaking and unfair, and any of us who read your blog and are keeping you in our prayers would do anything to take it away if we could. But please know that, through your honesty and openness, your suffering is serving a noble purpose. I (and I'm certain thousands of others) have been hugging my kids and husband tighter, saying "I love you" more, and worrying less about the things that don't matter. Thank you for helping those of us not currently living this nightmare to really understand how precious each healthy moment we have is. And for allowing all of us to try to help you in return by praying like crazy for you. Love, prayers and healing wishes from Oklahoma.

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  124. So so so sorry! Have been following your blog from the beginning and praying for you each day. I will continue to do so. I know you are both so tired of the fight but please don't give up. As much as this sucks it will get better. Love and prayers.

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  125. Happy Mother's Day, Elisa! I hope you feel well enough to have some joy in the midst of all this..
    I am thinking of you and praying for you and the family.
    denise sackett

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  126. Dear Elisa, all the best on this Mother's Day. Love and Prayers for you and your family.

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  127. Happy Mother's Day, Elisa!

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  128. Happy Mother's Day Elisa!

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  129. Just wanted to say that you are all much on my mind today. Sending you the best wishes and prayers I can.

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  130. Wishing you the strength to push through WBR treatment and into recovery.

    Stacey - California

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  131. God bless. Thinking of you during this terrible time.

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  132. Prayers coming from another cancer patient in San Francisco....keep struggling....your courage is an inspiration to so many others

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  133. So sorry for what you are both going through. I think of her and you often - from a fellow brooklynite, if you need help with anything don't hesitate to ask. Strangers do help......
    No words can express what she is going through. Keep Faith in God and Jesus. He has a purpose for us all.

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  134. Sending you both our prayers every day.
    Lots of love,
    Pablo and Palmira

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  135. Dear Bonds,

    Wishing you continued strength; and fervent prayers for healing. Elisa, you achieved NED status once, and it is my firm belief that you will get there again.

    Hugs to Sadie. All my love!

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