Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Radiation Wretchedness

When it rains, it pours.  I know Nathan posted yesterday and gave you the fantabulous news about my latest and greatest cancer adventure.  What only a few of you may have heard last night is that as, I, the one and only Elisa Bond, or the 1% for very different reasons than they are protesting around the world, would have it, the wretchedness of radiation hit me hard the very first day...yep, right out of the gate. Surprise, surprise. (Eye roll.) 


Anyway, I feel much better this morning having gone to bed on a cocktail of steroids and Klonopin. And who doesn't deserve some reward after that hell? As anyone in my life can attest, I have probably vomited 20 times in my entire life.  I'm just not a "pucker."  On the other hand, when it comes to or rather goes from my my culi (pronounced koo-lee from the Sp. el culo or It. il culo) the bowl is my frenemy.  I will do absolutely anything not to throw up.  Bulimia could have never been an option for me. 


However, all it is not lost.  With my admittedly, unhealthy weight-obsession, which I blame solely on mass media for air-brushing the likes of Kate Moss, I feel I earned a reward.  My prize?  I dropped a  pound this morning. Granted it was probably only water weight and I am most likely dehydrated and will wind up on IV fluids by the end of the week, but let's celebrate now.  Better yet, let's fantasize.  Let's see...if I have 15 days of treatment plus two weeks of post-crappiness, I could potentially lose up to 25 pounds. Folks,  I could be my 10th grade self. I could give up my Not Your Daughter's Jeans*.  This is the key to getting through the next month and a half.  My strategy - This will be light at the end of the dark, Hobbit-fucking underground, no direction-having burrow that leads me through the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, spits me out in Red Hook forces me to cross the Gowanus Canal by swimming and walking the rest of way home.


Obviously, I meant to post this last week but I just couldn't get my thoughts clear enough to make sense of them and wanted everyone a chance to digest the newest developments which Nathan so perfectly relayed.  You should all be aware that the drugs are working better and I am not suffering as I thought I would and thank god I have them.


Now a selfish request if you might indulge me.  I do want to respond to all your comments on the blog, on my Facebook page, on the Team Facebook page but I just don't have the energy. But please, please don't stop writing/commenting.  I read them all and my heart swells with love and hope and strength and courage.  Thank you for continuing to care in the many ways that you do.  Deepest gratitude to each of you.


*Every woman should own a pair off Not Your Daughter's Jeans no matter what your size or maternal status - buy a size smaller and you actually look a size smaller.  A true gift of modern fashion.  Oh and the asterisk thing - I am stealing that from Tina Fey's Bossypants  book which has given me the courage to open my big ass mouth again and let the chips fall where they may.  

146 comments:

  1. I just told my husband about you because I just cannot believe your story. I want to say that you are brave but I know that you have no choice but to be brave. I pray for your family often. I admire you a lot. I hope constantly for the complete recovering of both of you. Know that many of us are following your story and praying for you.

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  2. Dear Elisa,
    I dont know you, nor you me. I am a cancer (breast) survivor. I was terrified and i had it in no way compared to you are going thru and i am thankful to God everyday for that. However, no one knows what one experiences when they are diagnosed, have to go thru tests, and more tests, etc and it goes on and on and on. My heart aches for you to have to go through so much suffering and i dont even know you. You are amazing that you keep writing and are so positive. I feel, that since i have been blessed and so far am doing okay - i want to help you in any way i can. I know you have tons of friends, tons of blog readers/writers, but i am a fellow brooklynite; i work in the city, i am a mother of teenagers so i would love to give back if i can. You dont know me from a hole in the wall, however, I too went to NYU radiation and i know the girls and I know Dr. Formenti very well and Maria. If you need help or need to talk or need a babysitter or anything, please let me know. I feel God gave me a second chance (for now) so i can help others. I dont know how to send you a private message but please... if you need anything, let me know. Please try to stay as positive as you are and fight hard, eat healthy and keep the good attitude. Perhaps one day while you are doing your rads or before while you wait i can come visit you - i work ten blocks away from NYU. Let me know. I will sign off as A Friend From Long Island (I live here now). You can answer if you choose. I would love to keep you company during your visits to NYU if you need someone.

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  3. Love you, girl. I wish I was closer. Thinking of you every single day! You are an inspiration. Xx dayna

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  4. You are an amazingly strong woman. So many of us are praying for you and Nathan...and we will not stop.
    Blessings of healing and hope to you Sweet Lady.

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  5. elisa, it was so good to hear from you, reporting in your inimmitable, bad-assed way any scrap of what you see as positive - less puking, water weight loss, and intending to shed those jeans! awesome, girl!!! just this morning hugh and i were pissing and moaning about our dueling cancer calendars - him for myeloma, me for st iv metsy breast ca. OUR BAD. reading this post with all the past ones all these many months - whoa, we get a big dose of perspective. i look into your beautiful face, and can see your steely, sassy determination shining through. we will continue to BELIEVE that things will get better, and keep you, nathan and sadie close to our hearts. XO, karen sutherland

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  6. You and you're husband are my one of many inspirations, you make see that my troubles are something I can get through with a smile & courage as mine are not nearly as extreme as you have it, I keep you guys in the back of my head when I feel I cant do it.

    it keeps it into perspective that there are things out there that people go through & its your attitude that keeps you going as well as family/friends/well wishes/prayers etc. thank you for being brave enough to put you're story out there & for sharing with us the highs & lows.


    I wish you more strength & energy to get through the days & weeks, to kiss you're little girl, to smile, to laugh & to see the beauty in this world. its an amazing thing the internet, helps you see the beauty in the world through people you may never meet.

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  7. Yey, you're back!

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  8. Way to go Girl!!!!

    Endless Love and Good wishes from India!!

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  9. You are an amazing warrior woman and writer too. Keep fighting. I have a good feeling about this treatment.

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  10. I'm an American living in London and have been following your family's story. I just wanted you to know that I think of all of you often and am sending love and good wishes your way.

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  11. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!
    KEEP KICKING THIS CANCERS ASS!!!
    WE PRAY FOR YOUR FAMILY DAILY-

    STRENGHTH AND HUGS FROM PITTSBURGH!

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  12. Elisa, so good to hear from you. Been worried here in NJ! Sounds like you're doing a whole lot better. Way to go!!!!!!

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  13. you amaze me every single day! you are so beautiful inside and out.

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  14. if you get spit out in redhook - grab a lobster roll as a reward and for energy for the schlep back. put a quarter in your pocket, call and you'll be picked up in style and brought back by the legions of well-wishers pulling for you. hang in. wishing you strength.

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  15. Been thinking about you and sending prayers your way. I'm actually in NYC for a few days and was really sending stronger prayers today.
    Laura L. From Va.

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  16. I love that you are writing again! Also? Amazing pic. You look gorgeous and so strong. Pulling for you here.

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  17. I've been following your blog almost since the beginning. I would like to say you are amazing....but this sounds so...well, like a bunch of BS. I just would like to say I love your honesty about how you are feeling. I love that you get pissed off and aren't afraid to show it. Keep fighting and kick this cancer's ass!

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  18. I first heard about your family's story on the Today Show last year. Since then I "liked" your on facebook and read your blog updates. Your story has touched my heart. You two are are an inspiration and the fact that you remain positive throughout it all is amazing.

    When I complain about driving home in traffic, having too much rain outside, a stressful day at work, i step back and remember what you all are going through and how positive you are. Thank you for making me realize that there are other things in life to be worried and focused on instead of trivial issues.

    Although I dont know you I will continue to pray and send good vibes to your family. Stay positive!

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  19. Prayer, healing thoughts, going your way every day! WIll be praying for you with my prayer group tomorrow. Love and only good thoughts going your way always. You are courageous, beautiful and a warrior. The world is better for having you in it! Much love!!!

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  20. All I can say is that you are amazing. you never cease to amaze me. Strength and healing coming your way from Dallas, TX
    xoxoxo

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  21. You are so amazing and strong. You are much stronger than the that cancer!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Keep laughing...your cancer hates that!

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  22. You and your family are a true inspiration to me and I think of you and your struggles almost daily. Every family should be lucky to have the strength that you guys have and share. You are always in my prayers.

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  23. Praying for you and for your family!

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  24. Aren't drugs wonderful!? ;) Glad they are starting to kick in and give you enough relief to forge ahead. Get your sleep and eat when you can to keep up your strength. And hold onto the rope..we're pushing and pulling you through this muckity muck muck you have to wade through.

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  25. I LOVE the new photo! LOVE IT! What I think about you: http://youtu.be/ruT1c-pDEdw

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  26. Hi Elisa,

    It's good to "hear" from you again~You truly are an inspiration to us all. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  27. We continue to pray for you and your family!

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  28. I've been following your story since it came up on MSNBC and CNN not long after your diagnoses, and have never commented because so many of the commenters seem like real acquaintances and friends and family and I'm just a stranger, a mother of seven in Utah, just watching and praying and rooting for you. But I figured now's the time for you to know—that you're a subject for us around the dinner table, you're a focus of our good thoughts and prayers and hopes. Our family of nine is rooting for all of you.

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  29. Nathan, Elise & Sadie you're in our prayers, thoughts, good wishes, positive energy, and anything else good we can think of to send your way. Keep finding the laughter. I know it's hard but wrap yourselves in all this love coming your way from all over the world like a big blanket.

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  30. You two are truly the total picture of strength and love. Like many others, I first heard your story on the Today Show. I was so saddened by your plight, yet so inspired by your positive outlooks! I even used your story to write a college paper on the horrible disease you're both fighting, and how having a positive outlook can help with recovery.
    I anxiously await your blog updates and while I'm not a prayer, I pray for you. Not sure who to, but I plead to some higher power to continue giving you strength, courage and wellness.

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  31. Elisa, so glad to hear from YOU! Not that we don't like hearing from Nathan, we just like hearing from you better. Sorry Nathan! So glad to hear that the med's are doing what they are supposed to be doing. You are so damned strong and have an iron will and I know that if anyone can kick cancer's mean, sorry, sucky, lowlife, scourge of the earth's ass, it is you sista! Keep fighting the good fight. You as well as Nathan and Sadie are always in my prayers day after day. God Bless you all.

    :) Chrisie

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  32. I read about you and think about you and Nathan often. I am living in Bay Ridge with a daughter the same age as yours(and isn't two and a half a great age!!??) I am pulling for your family with all of my best thoughts and all the good vibrations I've got.

    PS I am reading Bossypants right now...that woman is the feminist writer of our generation!

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  33. You're a true Warrior! Fighting every step of the way and peppering us with wit and humor. I really do think and talk about you often, I would be so bold to say daily! You are an inspiration and this cancer has messed with the wrong family, it would have been better suited for someone that didn't care or have the balls to fight! (I knew I could say balls to you!) Remember how amazing you are and your support system is incredible! GO FIGHT WIN! You've got this Elisa!

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  34. Elisa, so glad you're feeling better and soldiering through this sheer hell--and glad you were well enough to write! Keep fighting keep fighting keep fighting! We're here for you. And pulling for you (and Nathan) 1000%. It means SO much to know that in any small way, we're helping.

    P.S. On a lighter note, thanks for the jeans tip--I DEFINITELY could use them. Yesterday, a few days after a new shorter 'do, my neighbor approached me and said, "wow, you look REALLY different." I said, how? (waiting for the new 'do compliment.) He said,"well, uh, um, your face looks, uh, rounder." I said, yeah well shorter hair makes your face look less long (which I thought was a good thing.) He said, "yeah, well it kinda makes your BODY look bigger too." I just glared at him. Like, for 3 minutes. And walked back into my apt. Thanks dude, Not your daughter's jeans here I come.
    Liz

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  35. You are one tough lady. Keep up the fight!!! You inspire us all not to sweat the small stuff. You've got a world wide support system circling around you. Love to you all

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  36. I have been following your story since the beginning but haven't commented until now. All I want to say is wow, you are an amazing woman. Your daughter is blessed to have two strong parents who do not give up even when life knocks them down and then proceeds to kick them while they lay there. I don't know you how do it. You shouldn't even have to. But you do and it's inspiring. Keep fighting because you will beat this.

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  37. Hi Elise,
    I am really sorry to hear that you are going through all of this again! I am praying for you. Please keep positive even when you don't feel like it ( easier said then done)! I hope that you know so many people really do care for you and Nathan and Sadie.... I wish there was something I could do to make this disappear forever... I have to tell you that you are my hero and your so brave! Please hang in there! All my love , prayers and positive thoughts are all yours to keep close to your heart .....
    Sincerely yours,
    Lori Ann Kohler-Thomson ( Newtown ,Bucks County ,PA )

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  38. My prayers of strenth to you and your family....I am in awe of you and Nathan. You both have such strength and face these devasatating diseases with such grace, humor and courage. May God Bless you and your family.
    Jane

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  39. Praying for you always and so enjoy your posts, especially when you are feeling better. Your spirit is amazing.

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  40. Elisa, Nathan- You are in our thoughts and prayers always. It's a horrible, tough, long road and it does make any sense. You have done an amazing thing by telling your story and bringing awareness to the horrible dread of cancer.
    Not too many of us can say we are immune or have not been touched in some way by this horrible beast, me included. Reading your blog gives me a lot of strength and hope, I truly hope we all offer you some of that too.

    Love always,
    Sejal

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  41. Hi Elise,
    I as well have been following your story from the beginning and you both are just truly inspirational. I have always lived in fear of everything (I was brought up Catholic ;) Especially dying and afterlife and my sister recommended this book to me "Dying to be Me" by Anita Moorjani. This book is extremely inspiring and actually made me think of you. It's also changed the way I look at things. Thought I would pass it on.
    Love, Light and Healing,
    MaryKate Grey (Vermont)

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  42. Love your new picture-glad you like Bossypants, I pick it up when I need a chuckle. Think of you and your family often and as a cancer survivor, have an tiny inkling of what you are experiencing. In the midst of everything you dispense the most excellent jean advice! xo Jo from NJ

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  43. You are strong and positive and that goes a long way... I am a BC survivor at 36, and I know all too well the road you must take- it sucks (to say the least!). Wishing you healing thoughts and sending positive vibes your way- you're doing great!!!

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  44. Elisa, thank you for the update. There are so many of us following your blog and wishing the best for you. I'm so sorry that you weren't NED for longer. As always you are facing the worst with grace and laughter and it's very encouraging to all of us who are fighting cancer.
    Beth Hutchins, Long Island

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  45. I pray for you and your family every day, Elisa - more intently than ever since hearing about TBR. What a delight to read that you have lost none of your spunk and clarity in communication. You are an amazing woman!

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  46. I have been following your blog since I saw you on the today show over a year ago. I am still awed at your spirit. I love the picture, and thanks for sharing with us. I pray for your family,often. Continue the brave fight.

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  47. Thank you for taking the time to update. I am sorry for your struggles. You look beautiful! Sending lots of healing vibes your way.

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  48. As a big boned girl with Stage 4 Breast Cancer, I know where your coming from. Keep up that sassy 'tude. You can not do this without it. My love and prayers to you and Nate. You help all of us. Thank you so for sharing.
    Joyce Mallonee

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  49. Sue....CaliforniaMay 16, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    As I sit here in my Not Your Daughter's Jeans, I understood what you were talking about, but at 59 years old, feel like I have earned the right to wear them. I am thinking about you and your lovely family everyday and sending healing thoughts your way!

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  50. You and your husband are so positive - it's very inspirational. I love that you both manage to make jokes and keep yourself laughing during such difficult situations :) Thinking of you both.

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  51. Hi there!
    I have been following your story for several months. I rarely watch the Today show, but one morning I turned it on & there you were! You have a beautiful family & pls know how many people out there are rooting for you. Sending lots of love & positive vibes your way from AZ...

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  52. thanks for the update. you are such an amazing, strong, and beautiful woman. keeping you and and your family in my thoughts.

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  53. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I have been following your journey and blog every step of the way and especially since I also have breast cancer and my boyfriend has colon cancer. On those days and nights when it is really tough, please know you all are not alone but supported in loving prayer. Keep strong...you're amazing! With admiration from Florida

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  54. I so admire your courage and strength and I pray for your healing. You have such an amazing spirit within you. I sincerely thank you for sharing this journey with so many. I love your wit and your way with words! You rock! :)

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  55. Your resilience and humour in the face of a very difficult set of circumstances humbles me. Sending you good thoughts and well wishes.

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  56. Elisa,

    You keep that sense of humor, girl, it will help you get thru the day. I think of you often, and hope the very best for you and your family. You have touched many people with all you have gone thru. Hang in there, even if it is by your toenails.

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  57. You are amazing and I am in awe that you find the strength and motivation to not only write and share what you are going through but to do it with humour. Sending good thoughts.

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  58. I've been following you guys since the beginning of your 'journey', and i have to say that you freakin BLOW ME AWAY! you are an amazing writer - so much so that through my tears while i'm reading some of the postings, i'm also laughing hysterically. sending you tons and tons of positive, warm, loving light from california. your strength is awe-inspiring. cliche, but there's really no other way to phrase it!
    oh, and your baby girl is amazing! you guys all make me smile :)

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  59. You and your family are so special my prayers are with you all, Fran Greene

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  60. You have been such an inspiration for myself and so many others throughout the last year. It's both strange and beautiful to feel such emotion for a family I have never met. You have all made me remember to appreciate even the most mundane details in life. We are all walking along side you, always.

    With much love and gratitude,
    Pichi

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  61. Your sense of humor and optimism shine through with every post. The picture of you is beautiful... keep fighting the good fight and for those of you who first saw you on The Today Show and have followed your story all along, we will continue to pray for you!

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  62. No words just love from me and all the hundreds and hundres of people out there that are thinking of you and your family day after day. praying for healing!!

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  63. You are in the fight of your life against the most evil and unfair opponent. In your corner, you are surrounded by love and support. Cancer has no friends! We are rooting for you and cheering you on with each blow! We are all in your corner, on your side! You are the Winner!!!

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  64. Elisa, I too have been following your story since the beginning. Both you and Nathan have been so inspirational to all of us. Life is full of challenges but you my dear are fighting a huge fight and doing an amazing job!!! May you continue to be strong, brave and fierce because in the end your will conquer and win your battle against this evil monster. Lots of prayers and healing hugs being sent your way!!!
    Rose from CT

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  65. You are beautiful and I keep hearing about the Not Your Daughter's Jeans. I am going shopping. I hear you pay a bit of a premium in order to wear single digits but that is priceless.

    Thinking of you and hope the side effects ease up. I feel like a lot of people underestimate the true suckiness radiation can bring.

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  66. Keep that attitude girl and you will kick that cancer right in the a.. Hang in there ...Things are going to be allright

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  67. Sending continued love and prayers your way!!!

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  68. Thinking of you and your family and sending the very best thoughts from CA. You are a true inspiration and the very definition of a warrior.

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  69. Both of you (and Sadie, of course) are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I can't imagine having the strength that the two of you have shown over the past year+. I think it just goes to show the rest of us mere mortals that when needed, the strength IS there - keep up the fight - there will be a reward at the end, and a happy ending! I just know it.

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  70. Love your sense of humor, Elisa! And your feistiness is shining through. A girl’s got to tells it like she sees it.

    Sending positive thoughts and energy your way everyday!

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  71. Dear Sweet Elisa (Nathan and Sadie too)
    You are the bravest family I have ever met, and I am OLD! Keep fighting! I know the road is hard, but every day you get is a day with Sadie. You are always in my prayers...and your beautiful, wonderful Mom too. Rose Ann Scamardella

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  72. I applaud your bravery in vocally endorsing Not Your Daughters Jeans. I have a pair as well as a pair of cropped jeans. My peers make jokes about their moms wearing them so I don't mention it lest I face ridicule. Thank you for being an advocate for those of us who constantly battle muffin tops. You make me feel less alone.
    Oh, and please kick the crap out of this pesky cancer.*
    *For those of you that don't know me, I'm trying to be funny. I do wear NYDJ but I know that jeans aren't that big a deal and that Elisa's real bravery is how she faces the crappy hand she's been deal with humor, honesty, and love. Keep fighting, Elisa!

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  73. I've been following your family's journey since last year and will continue to pray for you and your support team. Your strength is amazing and I so appreciate your willingness to share such a private struggle.
    Prayers from Tennessee.

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  74. Oh sweetie, I wish you the very best. We're all praying for you.

    Roberta in Half Moon Bay, CA (a cancer survivor)

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  75. Always look forward to reading your/Nathan's posts- I hope you realize there are so many of us that are lifting you up and praying for your family...thank you for the updates..Seems as if we have all been touched by cancer in some manner-perhaps this is why so many people respond to you/Nathan. There truly is strength in numbers....It makes me proud that there are so many people in our world who are compassionate, kind, and full of hope. Best to you and your family.

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  76. You are amazing Elisa. I am thinking of you and hoping good things for you and your beautiful family.

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  77. Hi Elisa, as many others have already stated, I have been following your story over this past year. I think about you and your family all the time and am sending many prayers and positive thoughts your way. You are an inspiration to me, and I can only hope that if I am ever faced with a challenge such as yours that I can carry myself with the same grace, dignity, humor, compassion, and hope as you do. You're amazing Elisa.

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  78. Elisa, you (and Nathan and Sadie) are amazing. And, you are hysterically funny. I almost spit out my water when I was reading your post. Hell, you deserve to lose 25 lbs, along with so many other things. Thank you for posting your picture- you look beautiful and I am NOT just saying that. The vulnerability and hope in that picture is pretty awesome. Wishing you the best and lots of love from a complete stranger.

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  79. You don't know me but I am also following your family's story and praying for you. You both are so brave & inspirational.

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  80. To me, your story is a love story. You are an inspiration, and remind me to try to find the laughter in every situation. From bay ridge, myself, knowing we must have crossed paths at one time or another, I know that us Brooklyn mommys are a strong bunch and will fight for our family-our loves! I wish you, nathan, and Sadie million., billions of lovable, funny moments. Know that if u need me( or thousands of others) I e here for you and continue to keep you in my prayers.

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  81. Your humor in all of this is amazing. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you! Wishing you a speedy time through radiation! Feel better soon!!! (How many !!!'s can you put in one comment?

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  82. More love and healing prayers your way Elisa! :o)

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  83. Elisa, you are awesome! Thanks for dropping in, really love hearing from you. Prayers & Healing thoughts coming your way.

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  84. Oh, you make me laugh! In the middle of all of this shit, you are so dang funny. (Why will I willingly say shit and then censor the damn??? Discuss). Praying for relief from this pain and these side effects.
    Kate (a Vandy girl who is friends with some of your Pi Phi sisters)

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  85. Elisa you amaze me! What a sense of humor and gift for words. It makes me laugh and cry for you all at once. Know I love all your and Nathan's updates. I cherish them. You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you both and Sadie too!!

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  86. Thought about you all day today - you are truly an inspiration and you make me really think about the important things in life and about gratitude for what we often take for granted. No one knows what you are really feeling inside, but know you have a lot of people wishing and praying for good things to come your way. You are really fighting this and doing what you can, I know, but yet you plow thru your treatments, you appointments, your sickness' and all the massive tests, side effects, the list goes on. Please ask for something ? Cupcakes, icecream, please think of somthing you want and cant get to right now. Would love to help. I am doing relay for life this Friday and I will light a candle in your honor, it will be my pleasure.

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  87. I continue to marvel at your strength and power. YOU are an amazing woman and I wish I knew you personally so I could bring you dinner tonight!!! xoxo

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  88. Have a good day, today, Elisa! Thinking of you. Take it one day at a time.

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  89. I am not a puker either........except when I had too much to drink and barfed right in front of my teenage son. (Nice display of Do As I Say And Not As I Do Parenting). I love that you maintain the snark at all times. A girl after my own heart. Thinking of you many times throughout the day here in Kansas. Don't ask me how I ended up here for the last twenty years. I was told we were just passing through.

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  90. Oh, please.. continue to open your big mouth and let it all out, you're hilarious during this enormously difficult, scarey time and I suspect that attitude of yours will get you through it all intact. I'm sure you're tired of reading the same line over and over, but you truly are amazing. You ARE the light in the tunnel.

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  91. I think of you guys often.I have been following your blog since last year.
    I dont know how you do it...How you guys do it...
    Today I had another WTF moment. Come on God what the freak!
    You will get throught this. When you do you will have something alot of us wont. The abilifty to really "live".
    You wont sweat the stupid small shit we all waste sooooo much time on.
    God Bless you and grant you the contiuned strength to fight this SOB cancer!
    ((hugs:))
    Kathleen

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  92. Hi Elisa,

    Technology has become the true facilitator for the modern spiritual connections we make with the amazing people who deeply touch our lives that we have not yet met personally. I want you to know that I keep you in my thoughts and prayers as if you were my own family.

    I will go out today, acknowledge the beauty of the sun and life, give proper thanks and then make a pleaful prayer/demand to our higher power to c'mon already! pay better attention to Elisa and Nathan and their struggles so that you may continue to heal without so many hassles. I will do that every day as a ritual. I am going out now and I believe.

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  93. elisa-

    i'm an oncology nurse. and my patients always AMAZE me - they are stronger than the strongest gladiators, braver than the bravest of men. you are funnier than any comedian. and i so admire your courage and upbeat attitude. i enjoy reading your blog and sometimes laugh outloud, appreciating your ability to see humor in the most horrible of situations. it's a coping mechanism; it's how i survive my work too. it's truly a gift. and i hope and pray that it gets you through this.

    -christa

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  94. I could write here all day long when in the end, it doesnt matter what i have to say - - you are an inspiration and one of the most positive people i have ever come across. No one knows what your battles are in the inside but on the outside you are a true warrior. Thank you for your inspiration - I, and we all, I am sure have learned quite the lesson from you. After all, life is about lessons learned. I wish i would have met you when i had my diagnosis........... I WILL CONTINUE to pray for you and your husband. From the heart..........

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  95. Elisa, Your 10th grade self? I have a feeling you don't look all that different from when you were 16. You are one of those people who don't seem to age. So jealous!! Hope that made you smile. :) It's true.

    Anyway, I second all the four-letter words you've used to describe the whole cancer adventure you and Nathan have embarked upon. But I marvel at the positive attitude you both have, and all the love and support behind you. From your story, I see that has made all the difference. Not to mention the great bond between you and Nathan! Jealous again! Kidding. Just felt like letting you know your story has touched me deeply.

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  96. Hi Elisa- I have been reading your story on your blog since I saw your story on TV. I think of you often and pray for you and your family.. you are an incredible woman and an inspiration to me. I can't imagine facing all that you're going through with such a positive frame of mind.. you and your husband seem to be the perfect definition of "soul mates"- thank you for openly sharing your story and love with all of us.

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  97. The Lord is my shepherd...May his peace comfort you. Ok I write it out for you. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Jennifer (fellow Vandy grad '96)

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  98. Elisa, it's so wonderful to hear from you! I thank God that the drugs kicked in and are helping you. I am going to buy a pair of Not Your Daughter's Jeans and wear them in your honor. I will think of you and pray for you every time I wear them! You are truly an inspiration, Elisa. Hang in there and know that you, Nathan and Sadie remain in my daily thoughts and prayers. With love from Oklahoma.

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  99. Yikes warrior woman -- never can tell which way steroids will leave you, but you got up to a computer to post? I'm amazed at your courage and always look to see if you have found your way back to the blog. I also can't stand vomiting and I'm way older than you -- only done it twice in the last forty years. I'd sooner be dipped in shit than vomit. Hate it more than I love being skinny. Anyway, I follow your story from the middle of the desert where hell is measured by haboobs/dust/heat -- and while life is so obviously not fair, you teach the rest of us that overused word (except in your case) and that is true grace (with some grit thrown in) thanks for coming up for air in difficult times and sharing, Laura

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  100. Elisa-
    I've been reading and following your story since the Today Show. I've never posted, but your request for comments made me finally come forward. I want to let you know that I pray for you every day. I pray for Sadie that she grows up to know you and the very special mom that you are. I run along the lake daily and I run for you! Thinking that someone can't run for exercise everyday makes me run faster and harder. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Keep fighting and when I run races benefiting the American Cancer Society this summer, I will be praying and running for you.

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  101. Elisa- I've been reading every blog entry since the beginning and praying for you, Nathan and Sadie ever since. Now that I know you really like the responses to the blog, that they keep you going, I will comment more often and let you know there's someone from Mass. rooting for you all.

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  102. Ten years ago yesterday, doctors told me I had a maximum of ten years to live. Now,I'm in full remission of a bone marrow disorder, off all meds, and enjoying life more than ever. I NEVER thought this could happen, but here I am. ANYTHING is possible!! Keep up the good work!! love from Sylvia in Ireland.

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  103. Keep fighting! You're amazing, and super funny to boot!

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  104. Thanks for always saying it how it is! I am cheering for you from Houston. I think of you and your family often and pray for you regularly.
    Laura

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  105. Sending positive energy, strength and love to you and your family.

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  106. Elisa and Nathan: As long as you keep writing, I will keep reading your blog. And even when you don't feel like writing, I will keep thinking about you and your family, and sending rays of positive energy your way.

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  107. Elisa, after a lifetime of no-prayer, when I heard your story a year ago I began to pray for you and Nathan and Sadie. I continue to pray for you every day: a healing of body and a healing of spirit.

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  108. I wish I could help, (maybe fold your laundry or something). I certainly hope the power of prayer is all we're told because I'm power-praying for you, Elisa.

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  109. Hi Elisa and family,

    I believe in 110% complete healing for you! I can hear your light in your posting! It is shining bright!

    Kick Cancer's ASS in those fancy jeans!

    Friends from Boulder, CO

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  110. Love, warm thoughts and healing every day for you from down south.... Think positive, think that the WB radiation destroyed every cancer cell and as much hard as it seems, try to put strong emotions of health and happiness, it is on your way.....

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  111. Praying for God to wrap you In his arms during this time!

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  112. Thinking of you all with your new challenge. May God look after you and help you during this difficult time. Stay strong and many prayers are coming to you from Iowa!

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  113. Just wanted to say I am thinking of you. Elisa, I am glad you have your sense of humor--I think it helps. Hang in there.

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  114. Praying for you and your family. Miss Sadie needs her mom and dad in full health! Mom from Minnesota

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  115. Thinking of you guys today. Hope you have a good day.

    Patty in Texas

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  116. So great reading your comments again! You have a great sense of humor and we know that laughter is the best medicine! Keep your spirits up and keep up the good fight. I think cancer picked on the wrong people!! Prayers still coming for you both from here in Alabama.

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  117. Elisa, I think of you daily and pray for you daily! (And for Nathan and Sadie) I pray you feel God's arms wrapped around you during your sickest times and the love that people feel for you and your family, around the world. You are an inspiration to me.
    Love from Minnesota,
    The White Family

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  118. Good for you for opening your "big ass mouth" again (your words not mine) , for celebrating weight loss in the face of cancer, and for having the courage to fight the fight in front of the whole world.
    You are one brave mama-keep putting one foot in front of the other...you inspire me...
    All the best to you and your family,
    Kathy in Colorado

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  119. I have never commented but have been keeping up with your journey from the beginning.Stay strong and know there are prayers being sent up from North Cakilacky;)

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  120. Hello family, I live in Suffolk County, just to the right of you two counties east. Just wanted to give you something else to think about today. I got a little rescue dog from arf in Wainscott. It turns out she is incontinent of urine. I can't bear to part with her so she is doing meds and diapers. Life is never what you plan, right? I am in remission from breast cancer and this little dog is my (other) blessing. Hope you can see the sun today. Much love, Karen

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  121. Elisa,

    Your story is a message of hope and love more than anything else. You are the Erma Bombeck of cancer and all that crap that goes with it. Erma would surely be proud of the comparison. You make me laugh in the midst of your tragedy. Tell it like it is, and I'll join you in laughter and tears. I will continue to think of you and your beautiful family. Sending good thoughts your way.

    Sarah from Pennsylvania

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  122. Hi:
    Just wanted to chime in and say that I am amazed by your strength, courage and your awesome sense of humor throughout all of this. You guys are all truly amazing. I hope you can enjoy some of the sunshine today. Sending nothing but positive vibes your way-

    From Massachusetts-

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  123. Every day now I envision you healed and all this behind you. I hope today is a better one but if it isn't, hang in there, Elisa, the good ones are coming. - Seattle

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  124. Elisa, your courage is contagious. You cannot know how many you have inspired to embrace life a little deeper, to not settle for platitudes when the naked truth needs to be told, and most of all to become profoundly aware that loving is living. Your spirit has gone viral in the best of all possible ways.

    Thank you for this amazing gift.

    Our thoughts are with you and your family. Take care. -- Patricia

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  125. I pray that God grant you the healing that you so deserve. The two of you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Elisa, while I have never met you I feel that I know you as a friend. Bless you and your family. Know that so many, many, people are praying for your speeding recovery......

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  126. Elisa, I know we do not know each other but you are a force in this world. Your honesty and your attitude is inspiring. Know that you are being thought of down here in Texas.

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  127. Definitely sending you and your family good, positive, healthy vibes. You are brave and strong, and a great example for your daughter!

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  128. Elisa you are so precious! I'm going to buy a pair of those jeans.
    Love to you and your family sweet brave girl.
    Amy Lynn

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  129. Hi Elisa, I've been following from the beginning. Two women very close to me have been hit by this filthy disease - both young mothers, one is metastatic like you. My heart is with you, with them and I hope you will continue to give BC the finger for a VERY long time. Lots of hugs and positive thoughts.
    Louna from France

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  130. Elisa, I wish I knew you "in real life" because you just seem very very cool. And funny. And brave "and all that" of course, but really you don't have any choice about that. I had a supposedly terminal illness earlier in my life so I get it.

    Be as strong as you can be, which means living the truth in every fucking second no matter where it leads you.

    With all my best wishes to you and all who love you,

    Courtney from NYC

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  131. Loving you and praying for you and holding you and Nathan and Sadie in my heart. You are a warrior. And, I believe, a Survivor. One step at a bleeping time. You are hilarious. You are beautiful. We are ROOTING FOR YOU!!!

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  132. Sending you all so many good thoughts and prayers and energy and everything.

    And hey, thanks for the tip on the jeans, I never heard of that brand before, but I might have to try a pair now. I usually wear Old Navy, they have some good cuts as well, but I am intrigued by these now...

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  134. Hi, I have read your blog from the UK for the last year, but never commented. However if comments help, here goes! I pray very night for your family, offering love and healing to you all.

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  135. I've been following your story like so many others have also. You have the best sense of humor and you need to write a book. Always sending you and yours prayers.

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  136. I have been following your blog since shortly after your diagnosis. Your strength, courage, honesty, and heart are truley an inspiration. You, as well as Nathan and Sadie, are in my thoughts and prayers....keep fighting and kick cancers a#*!

    Much love,
    Kelley
    Gilbert,Az

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  137. Elise, I know this sounds weird saying this, but I think about you and your family everyday. I can't imagine what this is like. I hate that you're experiencing this after having such good news, you're truly one of the strongest people I've ever encountered. I'm with you in this, even though I'm a stranger. I know you're going to beat it, this is just another step in the process.

    Happy Memorial Day!! You are a solder in this horrible war on cancer.

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  138. Hi Elisa,
    Hoping you're feeling better (continuing to kick cancer's ass!) and you, Nathan and Sadie are enjoying the holiday.
    Just checking in and letting you know my thoughts are with you guys.
    Lisa

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  139. Elisa, hoping you've had some happiness and relief on this beautiful Memorial Day. Blessings to you and your family.

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  140. My Dearest Elisa, keep up your battle. Across the country, people are praying for your victory. I hope you have had some relief and able to enjoy some spring. You are daily in my prayers..

    Suzanne from California

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  141. Hey Elisa,
    I am so happy to continually see you posting. Its amazing how strong you are and how many people love and care about you even those that have never even met you. I have been thinking and praying for you and your family since i first heard and will continue to do so. Stay strong!
    Brian

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  142. All very best love and wishes and may you all have a happy and fulfilled future. You are in my prayers.

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  143. Elisa, I don't know you but I went to school with Nathan years ago!I have been through Cancer myself and I know it is a bitch! I must tell you that you are an example of strength and I admire you a lot.You have all been in my prayers and I believe you will kick this phase right in the ass! I will keep praying for you and your family!Keep up the fight, you can bring back NED!!!All my love,positive thoughts and admiration. Lana

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  144. Heatherjbh@sbcglobal.netJune 11, 2012 at 12:14 PM

    Elisa, I started reading your blog when I was bored one day (every day) at work and I think I heard your story from the yahoo homepage or something. I think about you and your family a lot--because I think it really puts other crappy things in life, into perspective. I work with a woman who BITCHES every single day (6 years now) about her condo...and everything related to it. It's exhausting to listen to, and quite frankly I wish she would realize that her life could SUCK a lot worse. She bitches about a floor creaking! She's lucky she has a roof over her head. She thinks SHE's unlucky--I invite her to read your blog and talk about Murphy's Law. I wish you all of the best, and know your positive attitude and everyone around you will help you pull through. Heather

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  145. Ok jerkoff, (and I say this with such utter love for you, you know this) - when you look back on photos of yourself now, when Sadie is in junior high, or high school, or beyond that, you will say "I can't believe how amazing I looked then." (and you will still look gorgeous when you say it). You are absolutely stunningly beautiful, as always. I'm impressed. Beautiful, KICKASS body who birthed a gorgeous child quite tremendously; a perfect head for no hair, short hair, spiked hair, long hair. You are lucky that your beauty is so versatile. You always rule this "gorgeous" thing. Please, don't you forget it. Love you so much. Maggie

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