Thursday, June 7, 2012

Weeping willow

Today I weep.  It's Sadie's last day of her first year of nursery school.  I am sure many other parents find this an emotional milestone but it occurred to me last night that I truly didn't know if I would literally be alive to witness it for myself on her first day of school back in September just a day before her 2nd birthday.

Only a couple of weeks earlier, we had discovered my original brain tumors and the prognosis was dire and quite grim.  I clearly remember having dropped Sadie at school with Maia one morning and falling apart into a hysterical puddle of tears as the teachers had just spoken of the "graduating" class at the end of the year and what their ceremony would be.  Graduating class?  For Sadie that would be three years from now.  I didn't even know if I would I would see my baby finish her FIRST year of nursery school let alone make it through pre-school.  Weeping.

I would say 99% of the time we live most days like there is a tomorrow.  We try not to get ahead of ourselves around here.  Planning our own calendar in advance is always crap shoot but we go for it just the same.  Then life sneaks up on us.  We look a few weeks ahead and a day on the calendar pops-up at us which has already been pre-set and not by us.  In this case, today's event had not planned by us, but by the powers that be...the ever-powerful school calendar.  Today is that day. TODAY!  Today is SPECIAL!  Yes, the tumors in my brain have come back in the last couple of months, but I am still here...TODAY!  TODAY, I get to watch my "big girl" finish her last day of her first year of nursery school.  Now that's a blessing! Thank you all.

I suspect weeping all day!

62 comments:

  1. Congratulations Sadie!!! And I am so happy that both of you get to be there for her on this special day. I pray for many many more happy celebrations!!!!

    ~ A stranger in Massachusetts

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  2. Congrats SADIE!

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  3. I have tears of joy streaming down my face :) So happy for you, and still praying for you and your family!! xoxo God Bless you!

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  4. That's wonderful! You are such a brave family.

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  5. Congratulations to Sadie and to her wonderful parents. You are all an inspiration...I think and pray for you often and wish for many more marvelous celebrations!

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  6. Congrats SADIE and I'm so happy for today for you and Ethan. Nothing but well wishes for many more.

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  7. congratulations to sadie and her wonderful parents. you are here to be with her and i wish you many more graduations and wonderful days. try to laugh and smile a lot too today.

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  8. Weep ALL day! There is nothing better than joyous tears! Enjoy today!

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  9. Yay Sadie! I pray for many more blessings in your family! Prayers all the way from Arlington, TX

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  10. Big hugs and big congratulations! And, yes, weeping by all :)

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  11. Sadie is very lucky to have such great parents !! We are never garanteed tomorrow so we live the day like its out last. You all are such an inspiration to the world and our family wishes you all nothing but the best !! You will have many more celebrations together--the world needs more positive people around like you all !! Have a fantastic day today and keep smiling--we are smiling with you all !!!!! Give Sadie a big hug from us !!

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  12. Congratulations!!!I read your post and cried as well!How wonderful for you guys to see your daughter finish her first year of school!Enjoy the day!Have a blast!

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  13. I know that feeling. I missed the first day of school and preschool for my kids who were 7 and 4 at the time. I cried like a baby the day of graduation for my daughter in preschool. And then I cried more on my son's last day of school that year. Surviving makes you appreciate that milestone even more. Praise God you are here to enjoy Sadie's growing up!!

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  14. Congratulations to Sadie! What an exciting day for all of you! I am always happy to see updates posted by you, but it is extra special to see one like this - enjoy today! Thinking of you and your family, always.

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  15. Congratulations to you all!!!!
    A very HAPPY day indeed!!!!!

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  16. you just made me weep!! Sadie has a strong brave mama! congradulations to the proud parents and to sweet Sadie for graduating her first year in Nursery school. I wish you years of graduations and other happy celebrations with Sadie. take it day at a time but aim for years to come! you inspire me ..
    always in my heart

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  17. I cried the day I registered my daughter for Kindergarten and then later on in years when I picked up the drivers handbook. We are tied to them each step of the way. What a wonderful job the both of you are doing raising Sadie...no matter what!

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  18. You have me weeping too. I have two children aged almost 4 and almost 2 and I wonder how precious life could possibly have felt before they came into my world. I would do anything for them, and like you would fight so hard to live for them. I follow your story, and wish you and your beautiful family much love, strength and life x

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  19. I am sooooo happy for you Elise that you are able to see your 'big girl' Sadie graduate today!!!! Savor and enjoy every moment, take some pics for us and weep away!!! I KNOW you will be here for Sadie for many years to come as you have the will of a warrior and possess strength and resilience in abundance. You are an inspiration to me and so many!! Sending you and your family love and blessings from Toronto!!!!!

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  20. I sobbed when I read your post. I am a mother of four and I can't imagine what you're going through. You are a fighter and the relationship with your daughter is so special. Keep hanging on. I pray for you always.

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  21. It's so great that you can see Sadie graduate from her first year of pre-school today. Amazing! Keep up the good work and always sending you, Sadie and Nathan my love; and of course, Mom who is so dear to me.

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  22. Weep away and enjoy the day. So glad you are still here and enjoying the special events for Sadie. You are a true warrior woman.

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  23. Dana Otto....N. CaliforniaJune 7, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    You are a truly beautiful person, Elisa.

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  24. we love you, soldier. we wish our shoulders were close to you, so you could rest your weepy head on them, and we could wrap our arms around you. you're a beautiful mom, sadie is a beautiful girl, and you will prevail. you will. and you and nate will continue to give her the best foundation in life anyone could ever have. she is a very lucky little girl. we love you, elisa. xoxo

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  25. Every milestone your child(ren) experience is so very special and I am thanking God for you that you are able to be there with Sadie as she goes through this fun experience!!!! Prayers for many more joyful milestones that you get to witness!

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  26. Congratulations to your sweet Sadie...I am so thankful that you get to weep and spend the day beaming at the wonderful daughter you have!! many hugs!! Many Hugs!!!

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  27. Wha t a wonderful day to celebrate! Prayng for many more milestones to celebrate together in the years to come. I'm also a weeper at events like this. Embrace the tears because I know there will be a big smile on your face too. Enjoy the day and celebrate!

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  28. Yay for today! And may it be the first of many Wonderful Weeping Days! Congratulations, Sadie!

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  29. What a lovely thing to celebrate with Nate and Sadie. I think so many of us need to live for today and stop the planning and ponderings about so many things that do not really matter in the grand scheme of things. Sending you much love Elisa.

    Carol ( UK)

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  30. Yay, I am so glad that you are getting to see her graduate on her last day :) this had me all misty eyed as I was reading this, thinking back to the day my little girl first started preschool, I could not imagine missing that. God bless you're wonderful family & I will keep you in my prayers <3

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  31. Melissa from CanadaJune 7, 2012 at 12:14 PM

    You are an amazing woman and Sadie is learning from you what that is all about. She will carry that through her life and celebrate you.

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  32. I know you probably never wanted to be an inspiration to people this way, but you are. We all need to live in the moment bc even if we don't have your diagnosis, we all could be gone tomorrow. How arrogant to think we have time. You are cherishing every moment and reminding us that we all need to do the same thing. I wish I had your courage, your badass attitude, your gifts as a writer...but even though I'm a lesser mortal, I try to channel you from time to time when I'm afraid or feeling sorry for myself. You are a SuperWoman, Hero, First Class. You will be the miracle. You will be front page news of the cure. Can't wait to read all about it. I don't doubt you for a moment. Enjoy the beautiful moment and dare to dream about the future.

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  33. I cannot wait until I turn on the tv to see Sadie giving her acceptance speech as the first female president of the US. The best part will be when she thanks her mom, her hero, her inspiration to never give and campaign manager and you stand up and the room erupts in thunderous applause. That day is going to kick ass. You keep fighting and fight hard. You will beat this and you will be there for every graduation and every inaugural speech. I know it, as much as I know that you are my fucking hero and I have never even met you in person. Sending you love and strength from the west village.

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  34. Happy for you...hope you feel more happiness than anyone in the world. Embrace it. You are amazing. -Laurie in MI

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  35. Ashley VuckovichJune 7, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    Congrats Sadie!!!!!!!!!!!! Lots of love Elisa! xo

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  36. You humble and inspire so many with your courage. Thank you for that gift. Much love and prayers for continued strength.

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  37. Karen Kristofferson SparksJune 7, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    Kiss that big girl. Hug your husband. Enjoy each day. You are a great reminder to me to do so as well. Stay strong and keep inspiring! XO

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  38. Hooray from Kansas!

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  39. You may be weeping but I know your smile catches each joyful tear. Today, a gift, indeed.
    Becky Stark, Iowa

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  40. you and nathan are heroes,....not only to sadie, but to all who know your struggles. i am inspired by each and every entry you write.
    enjoy the rest of this day with a huge smile on your face!

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  41. Ah, you express the emotions of this special day, at this very special time, so very well. Thank you for sharing your family and your story.
    I am asking that peace embrace your minutes, your days, your lives.

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  42. Congrats, Elisa!!!! (and Sadie and Nathan!) Elisa, wishing you many many many more moments and (yes) years with her.

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  43. Prayers, thoughts, and love... :)

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  44. oh my God Elisa. That shook me to the core. I remember when you said long ago on your blog something about "I don't get cancer, it doesn't suit my style"
    I am so afraid of cancer. it has taken so many of the people I love away and one of my fears is that I will get it, not because there is a huge history, just because I see what it does to people and it scares the shit out of me.
    You are so brave, and I know you are just like me. Cancer doesn't suit your style. but here you are with it. And you are fighting the brave fight. You and your family never cease to amaze me. xoxox

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  45. i weep with you in joy for your celebrating this event and in sorrow for you having to think about the option.....you are amazing. PS I hate cancer

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  46. Awww Elisa I am weeping with you. I wish so much that you and all your family be healed and made whole. May you once again be NED, but for good! God bless you and you all are in my prayers!!! <3

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  47. Elisa, I thank you for sharing. Reading your posts always makes me thankful for all that I have. You have taught me to live in the now and to appreciate things...even the little ones. May God Bless you with more happy memories!

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  48. Thank you for sharing your joy with us.

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  49. Congratulations! I too am a survivor. When I was going through treatment, I had a hypnosis session where I visualized all of the different future milestones of my then 4 year-old. It was a rich and poignant experience that had me laughing and crying. No one can fully understand why I'm am so overwhelmed by first day of school, junior high grad and first day of high school. It is a deeply rich and personal experience for me. Coming up next is senior year, a landmark that 13 years ago I had no idea I would be around for. I feel your joy at this landmark and the fact that you are savoring it so. Take care, I am happy for you today!

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  50. A full heart spills over. Weep away.

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  51. Congratulations to young Sadie!

    Elisa, you are such a fighter and your words should serve us all as a reminder that today is the day.

    Love and Best to you all and look forward to many more last days at school right up to Uni.

    xoxoxox Geraldine, Spain

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  52. Thrilled for you, jumping up and down!!! Enjoy the day Elisa.....best wishes and good thoughts.....

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  53. Dear Sadie,

    Congrats, you are a big girl now! What a special day. I bet your mommy and daddy were the happiest ones there; they must have been jumping out of their chairs. You are the light of their lives. Please give them big hugs from me.

    Much love to Team Bond!

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  54. weeping is a lovely way of cleaning out the eyes. Congrat Sadie, you have amazing parents! Laura in Tucson

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  55. It is indeed a special day when the little ones go onto the next steps in their lives. I know you all are so proud...Yay, Sadie, yay to you all TEAM BOND> Praying for you all so much.

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  56. So happy that you had this special time. Today is really all any of us has. Praying for you and your continued health. Sadie is adorable!

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  57. You inspire me- Thank You!!!!

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  58. i dont know you but we went to the same school marymount. you and your dear family are always every single day in my prayers. with all my love sandra

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  59. I felt so bad when I saw you and your husband last year on tv and I have followed your story ever since. Just wanted to say i am happy for the three of you to enjoy that special day. You are an amazing woman and you and your husband deserve to see many more milestones for Sadie. I hope to be reading updates one day when you are grandparents. ~ a mom of 4 from Brooklyn

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  60. Dear Elisa,
    I am trying to contact you and send you a few emails on inspireteambond@gmail.com. It is very important you read it Please let me know if you received it. I am in the midst of BC battle myself, you are my inspiration and in my prayers every day.

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    Replies
    1. Elisa & Nathan,
      I have been following your story and rooting for you 2 since I saw you on the Today show last year. I will be riding 100 miles in 3 weeks in a tremendous fund-raiser with one goal - to end cancer. You both inspire me and you will be on my mind the day I do the ride pushing me to the finish line. If you're curious about this fund-raiser, you can check this out: http://moseyprose.blogspot.com/2012/07/pelotonia-2012.html

      Praying for you always!

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